...love remembers

Can Exs Be Friends?

Can exs be friends? The answer to that question is, NO. At least not at first. I'm sure the one that got rejected didn't really want to hear that, but that is the reality.

Going from a romantic relationship, to a platonic relationship is impossible.

Can exs be friends is almost like asking can friends be lovers? There is no way to have had a romantic relationship with someone, and see them with another person, and be ok with it. You will never be able to accept the thought that the one person who used to tell you they loved you so much, and more, is now saying the same words to someone else, and be friends.

Trying to be friends, especially right after a break up, tends to prevent the rejected partner from mourning the break up, and realizing it is really over. Nothing is forever, not even love. And we will all experience many types of loss in our lives and will have to learn to accept and grieve. With tears, heartache, physical sickness, and the mental devastation, with time the rejected partner will heal enough to go on with life. However, they will keep this love in their heart forever.

And heal they must. Unfortunately the time involved that it takes goes slow and is painful. Trying to stay friends is impossible as it just lingers the reality that what once was "WE" is now "I".

Mourning is crucial, because falling in love takes us beyond who we are into an area that puts our sense of self at risk. Together, they place themselves in each other's hands for safekeeping, that kind of interdependence is why the loss of an romantic partner involves the depressing experience of being left behind with a negative sense of yourself.

In relationships, we love deeply and put ourselves in each others hands, we bond, and trust one another. This is over now, and going from that to "just friends" is impossible.

Mourning this loss, and that is exactly what it is, tears one apart. Although so many people talk as if it is no big deal. Your friends may say, well it's time to move on, and the person that breaks up with you goes on like nothing happened and they are happy, and it leaves you feeling very alone.

And yes, you want to stay friends to stay close if you can, to at least temporarily, feel close, and hope for reconciliation, but it is not good for the healing process, the mourning, that you must go through. This is the chance we take for love.

This part of us as human beings is unfortunate and is part of our makeup. As we find someone we like, then love and care about, but because we fell in love, we may lose that person in our lives forever. And forever is a long time.

It's not that you only lost a romantic partner, but you have lost a friend, a lover, a pal, and this is very hard to come to terms with. Your ex is now having this kind of relationship with someone else, and they don't miss you. And if you wonder if they ever think of you, the answer is no. Now you have to try and heal, let life take its course, and hopefully the next person that enters your life romantically, will stay and love you forever.

Will this pain I feel daily go away tomorrow? I don't think so. But it will subside. Little by little your memories will not be so clear, your heart won't hurt as bad, and you will begin to feel like you can live again.

They say the easiest way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Or, the easiest way to get over someone is to find someone else. I'm not really sure if either of these are true, because if you really loved someone, you will never entirely get over them, even as your life moves forward.

No matter how long love lasts, it all ends. Nothing is forever. Some say, they will never do that again. Some say, I will never give all of me to another. And when the right someone comes along, you will love again.

Can exs be friends? No they can't if they really loved each other to begin with. Unrequited love is the answer to can exs be friends.

That is what it is. Someone does not love you back anymore.

Only as many years pass, if then, will you be able to be in a social setting with your lost love and be able to act normally, and not hurt, as love remembers. And that is the answer to can exs be friends?

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