All the good ones are taken! I hear that a lot, don't you. And if you are single right now, you are probably saying, "isn't that the truth". Well actually, that's not true. You are one of the good ones, right?
Dating, and finding your life partner is tough in any generation. You will find that men will blame it on the women and the women will blame it on the men. It can be frustrating. After all, we all want someone to share our lives with, and feel the touch of someone who loves us. Not too much to ask, right?
One thing I have found is that instead of pursuing
balanced partners when dating today,
we tend to have a grocery list of what we want in a partner. lol Is that realistic? I don't mean that anyone should settle. Not at all. But as we live in a very open and sexual time, things are different.
Let's start with appearances. I read an article about a book called, "Dating Out Of You League". It's a nice thought, but not really realistic. Every morning we get out of bed, go into the bathroom, and look in the mirror, and we know. Yes, we know just where we stand in the grand scheme of things. But it seems that some people have magic mirrors. And yes, I would love to have one of those! lol
It's like saying Ugly Betty could attract Pierce Brosnon? Would you believe that was possible? Or how about Jack Black attracting Halle Berry? I don't think so! So why do women and men pursue people that there is no way an attraction is going to be met? Unless of course you have this magic mirror.
It is good for anyone's confidence and self esteem to feel attractive. It's essential. But reality has to to come into play here. So when physical attributes don't match that close, there is going to be rejection. And although no one likes rejection, you better get used to it in the game of love. Because you will get rejected more in the search for love then anywhere in life.
Learn to deal with rejection in a healthy way. Not everyone is going to find everyone attractive. But you go out there until you find the one that is a fit.
So you are out there. Let's say you are a woman. You want a man that's hot, sexy. tall, dark, and handsome. Financially secure of course, kind, considerate, confident, fantastic personality, loves animals and children, is well endowed, the life of the party, and a mans man. So if a man walks in to a place where you are, and see's you, do you actually believe you are in the same league with him? And if so, do you think he will find you attractive? See what I mean?
We all know what are capabilities are. We need to date in our own league. The ones that don't and have that partner that look a little odd together, is usually because of money.
So appearance wise, it would be remote to try and date out of your league. So why do men and women do it? I've seen it myself, over and over. And sometimes, when the person is rejected, something nasty is said. Why?
Does this situation ever change? No not really, but if one person is less attractive, or maybe just not someone's type, an attraction can develop over time. If this person was a friend of a friend and you ran into them quite often at gatherings, you get to know each other better. In doing so, the qualities that you may possess, and your personality, may be attractive to this other person. Time will tell. But initially, the spark, the chemistry, isn't there.
Men are no different. They too have their grocery list. They want to walk up to a woman and be welcomed politely, not be laughed at, and fear rejection more then women. But some women today can be brutal. But men want someone that is always horny, thinks there is no need for clothes, someone smart, decent size breasts, makes a good living, semi-independent, good with money, never complains, dresses sexy, great personality, adores her man, beautiful of course, flowing hair, a smile to light up a room, and thinks their world revolves around him.
As you see, this isn't realistic either. If that person walks into a room guys, do you think she is going to give you a second look?
All of us, men and women alike, find people attractive, the ones that trip our trigger and get our blood flowing, that do not feel the same way about us. That look has to be there initially. As I explained earlier, people can grow on one another too. You may not give a person a second look at first, but after knowing them for a while, they find your other attributes to be attractive. In other words, the whole package. That comes with life. As you work and play in your life you meet people that in time, grow on you. But for just initial attraction, there has to be a spark, a chemistry.
And every person you think is attractive is not going to think your attractive. Period. Deal with it. It's Life.
There has been made mention of people saying, "I guess I am going to have to lower my standards". Or, "I am not lowering my standards". Or, "I deserve better". The answer to all of these is NO.
You are looking at it wrong. I'm not saying to lower anything, or settle for anything. Your standards are not too high! You can find the person of your dreams with all the attributes that make you happy, but they may not look like a movie star. Try dating in your league. I want to date Elizabeth Hurley really bad, but I know she wouldn't take a second look at me. So does it make sense for me to try and meet her? And get rejected? NO.
make common sense. Period. There has to be a balance in everything you do. Many times, you may find a person that for some reason you find attractive, but you know that person is not as nice looking as you. You don't know why, but you like them. But, you don't dare tell anyone as they may think you're crazy. Your friends may laugh at you, and your parents may say "are you crazy".
Sometimes, it is what it is". Don't be embarrassed and go for it. This person has to make you happy, not everyone else. Weird things do happen sometimes. Make yourself happy.
And if you're not looking for a relationship, friends with benefits can be good. But, for sure here, it is all about the chemistry. Many go to bars and clubs for this specific purpose, and nothing more. If this doesn't work for you, fine. Move on.
Dating today is really no worse then any other time. Today, sexual expression is accepted more easily. Also I find that men and women alike are not as welcoming, or polite to each other when attempting to meet each other, then other times in history. Some are down right mean. And there is no need for that.
And women looking for a rich guy and men looking for a rich women isn't the answer. I know when you don't have money it seems that way. But look at it this way. Let's say you don't have a partner. Maybe you don't even date that much. You're not very happy in that area of your life and wish there was someone. Now let's say you win a million dollars! Are you happier? I don't think so. You still are missing that one thing that most of us find that is crucial in our lives. That's a partner in life. And all that money can't bring you happiness.
So the next time you are out of the house, be a little more open minded, and look for the potential of balanced partners in your life, be more polite, and not so mean. Because love remembers.