Falling in and out of love while married, or partnered, is not uncommon. You say to yourself, "that's not possible". Or, "they either love me or they don't". Weeeel, yes and no.
If you are in one of these circumstances you may have experienced it. And if you try to explain it to someone that hasn't gone through this, then it may not make any sense.
But falling in and out of love is common. After all, isn't the grass always greener on the other side? Isn't variety the spice of life? Well?
Falling in love is simply the best feeling anyone can have, or endure. And when you started out, your feelings toward one another were "magic". Weren't they?
But life does happen, and things get mundane, and boring. As years pass, it's the same old thing, everyday. After all, you get up, go to work, come home, eat, watch some tv or spend some time on the computer and go to bed. And then you repeat that day after day, after day. What happened to the lust?
It's not you but happens to many. Falling in and out of love happens when things get like this. Add extracurricular activities, children, and demanding jobs, and sometimes you just want to live on your own without all "the stuff".
Some get bitter, or bored, or both with their partner. Who doesn't help out around the house, who wants sex, who doesn't want sex, who is always doing the bills, who doesn't pay attention to who, and the list goes on.
So many fall out of love. They really do. They contemplate how they are feeling, day after day. They start to realize that "spark" isn't there, so they think. They can't believe they feel this way and never thought they would be the ones to separate. "NOT ME".
Because you may feel this way now, doesn't mean that is how you truly feel. It's now. But ask yourself why. Life happened. It is hard sometimes, and for many it's hard a lot of the time.You say that you would be happier being single again without all the crap. Right?
But as humans, we will always want to share our lives with someone. The journey is no fun alone, so we would search for another. So there goes the single part. And you think the same thing won't happen with someone else? On the contrary!
Falling in and out of love is the process we go through, like it or not. Some get fed up and leave. They can't believe how happy they are now that all the crap is over. But is it?
First, after a little time, you very well may have second thoughts and miss they one that you thought that was such a pain in the ass. Then what? Sometimes there are no second chances. And now that you left, maybe the one that got left behind is starting to like the new life they were thrown into. Then what?
They the baggage. Oh yes, the baggage. Now someone is probably paying alimony, and for some, child support. Well there goes your standard of living. Then there is new boyfriends or girlfriends that come into play. Shared custody of the children, selling the home, moving, and on and on and on.
Only to find out that the one you left was the one you have always loved. No do-overs here!
Falling in and out of love happens. It does. But you need to let time pass for some things to work themselves out. And sometimes you have to be the one to start to make some changes in order to find each other again, as some people just get lost.
Sure not everyone can stay together for all time, but knowing there will be difficulties to face head on, is a start to fall back in love.
This isn't for just people who are married but for people who are partnered too. It's two people that live with each other every day, and people get on each others nerves sometimes. Can you imagine going back home and living with your parents again? God forbid!
Sure you lived with them for twenty years, but to go back? See what I mean. We live in a throw away society. When something breaks, it costs more to repair it then to replace it. So we buy a new one.
Love is treated much the same way. When desire fades, and it's the same old same old, we tend to want to throw it away and get a new one. After all, a new one is so exciting isn't it?
Falling in and out of love happens. But give it a chance before you throw it all away, as love remembers.