As the grief of life's problems, and lost love can be debilitating, finding your way through life and heartbreak is of paramount importance. It is difficult to know for sure, or even realize the direction you should take. After all, this moment in time can beat you up pretty good.
As a slightly older man in his fifties, and I did say "slightly" I have come to realize a few things about life that seem to make a difference. I think anyway. But as we all are different people, and how we view things, and even are personalities are so different from each other, I think that some things are universal. Maybe so, maybe not? You be the judge.
One of the first things I have realized in finding your way in life is doing something you love. I consider myself very fortunate in my life to have had the opportunity to be self employed for many years starting at a very young age. No, this does not mean that I am wealthy. I wish. But it goes to being happy every day. Will it erase heartbreak? Of course not, but as we all have to work in order to survive, and doing something you truly do like to do, and that you are passionate about, clearly makes you day go better.
You don't have to be self employed, but take a job that you really like if at all possible. Going to work every day, miserable, does not help you physically, emotionally, or give you are very good outlook on life. Yes, we have to do what we have to do to survive, and that means sometimes we take jobs for the sake of the almighty dollar. Understandably.
But if you are going to inject any sort of happiness in your life you can't go to work miserable every day. It's depressing, constantly, day after day, month after month. Life throws enough at you, so try adding a little happiness in your daily life by doing something that you are passionate about if you can.
I can tell you that I never worked harder, longer, and with a smile on my face then the years I worked at something I loved. There is nothing like "not needing" an alarm clock in the morning to get up. The shear excitement of going to work brightens your day when you are doing something you love.
As an above average emotional man, which I don't like about myself necessarily, I find that I am an empathetic man. Actually, very much so. I feel the emotional pain of people and ever since I was a young man, I found that when I saw that someone needed help, I was always offering whatever I could. In doing so, I also found that I got more joy out of giving then receiving.
I know you have probably heard of people like this, but it truly makes me feel good inside. I feel like it's Christmas when I do this. Don't get me wrong, I get heartfelt emotions if someone does something for me, but if that doesn't happen, that's ok.
Sure, you can't help everyone that has a problem, but doing what you can now and then warms your heart. I know we live in a world today that everyone is out for themselves. And I am also aware that even though you may help a person out that they may never return the favor. But you don't do these things expecting a returned favor, but for the shear selfless act of giving. Try it sometime. You may just like it, as it fills your soul. And it's another thing to make your day a little brighter.
As we become adults, we strive for happiness, and finding our way through life. We get jobs that pay us to accumulate things. We think that by having the nice car, the boat, a new surround sound set up, jewelry, exotic vacations, etc, it will make us happy. And if can live within your means and have all these things in your life, by all means get them. But at the end of the day, I think you will find that it's the little things in life that will bring you more joy and happiness.
Simple things, no matter what they are will make, and keep you, happy. Enjoying the company of friends, taking the time out to appreciate nature and listen to birds singing, may sound boring in the grand scheme of things, but take the time to enjoy life itself. Spend some time with your parents or siblings, play cards with your kids, go for a walk with close friend or lover and talk. Have friends over for pizza, or enjoy fireworks over the holidays. Donate your time for the less fortunate, or whatever gets you out of that fast pace of this life for a moment, and enjoy the simple things, as you are finding your way.
They say laughter is the best medicine. I love to laugh. I love to make others laugh too. I was never a good joke teller but I always come up with this little comments in a conversation that lighten the mood or make others laugh. The life of the party? Not hardly, but I always enjoyed laughter. I would get excited to be able to watch a movie comedy, especially a really good one. As a child, I found myself drawn to comedy and loved it so much I saved my money to go and buy two comedy albums.
This may not seem like a big deal, but when I was growing up, there were very few comedy albums. There I go showing my age again. I saved my money and went to the store and bought them and listened them over and over.
Laughing made me feel good. The two albums I bought were Bill Cosby, and Pat Cooper. Bill Cosby everyone has heard of. He was a story teller mostly. He would go on and on and I would just wait for the punch lines at the end of the story. I would just laugh and laugh. It made me feel good.
Pat Cooper many people would not recognize. He just passed away not too long ago. He would almost make me pee my pants. He was great with all the facial expressions, and his quick one liners. But also, he came from an Italian heritage, and his real name was Pasquale Caputo. Myself coming from an Italian heritage, he would tell stories about the quirks of growing up an living the life as an Italian. I am laughing now thinking of the album that I still remember.
Is laughter the best medicine? In documents I have read they say laughter releases chemicals in the brain that make a body feel good. They say that even a smile makes a difference. So as you go through the trials and tribulations of life, take a moment to laugh. It will make you feel better.
In finding you way I have also learned what the aspect of time. Time is a very funny thing. When we are young it seems to stand still. It takes forever to get to be a teenager, then a lifetime it seems to be sixteens to get a drivers license. Slowly, and I mean slowly, we can't wait till we are eighteen as that's the time when we are considered adults. Even more slower is waiting to reach twenty one years old so you can go to the bars and have a cold beer.
Even your twenties seem to go very slow. We are young and we are trying to rush life to the point we are older so that we may experience more of life. But before you know it, the years are going by so fast. I remember just turning forty as if it was yesterday. Now I am fifty four! I mean I qualify for an AARP card. What's up with that?
Slow down and savor your life here on earth. Before you know it you are on the downside of life and you will be apartment hunting as you pass the local cemetery.
The other thing with time, it is a healing agent. It's not a memory erasing thing, but a healing agent. As you pass through life, you will get hurt emotionally. You will get hurt by a multitude a things that will happen to you in life, including love. As time passes, the hurt you will experience will not be so fresh and new. It will start to get a little older. Do you still remember? Of course you do, but time will take some of the sting away. Will you still feel hurt as a lot of time passes. Probably on some things, and other things will fade from memory.
As you can see, time is very valuable and you shouldn't squander the little time you have here on earth.
Your most important decision in finding your way in life I think will be choosing a partner, or a spouse to go through life with. It's not only feeling love for that person, but is that person good for you? Are they good, and kind people. Will you be able to depend on them, and will they be there in good times, and in bad?
As we all change as time passes, do you think that person will still be the person you married down deep inside? We as humans need that special love on our journey through life. Someone to share this little time we have here. I have been lucky once in my life to find that person. A person that you "bond" with and will hold dear to your heart forever.
Yes the chasing each other around the coffee table may subside as the years pass, and you inevitably will face medical issue's together, young or old. Life will through a multitude of things your way, but hopefully not too many.
I hope you enjoyed these thoughts of finding your way through life.