Healing a broken heart may be the hardest thing you do in your life. It's emotional. And emotions are what we are as humans. Losing the one we love so deeply is loss to the nth degree. It is like losing a loved one to death some say. A grief that is unbearable.
This is the person that you cuddled with, held hands with, laughed with, depended on, and made passionate love with. They had become a part of your life. You had become one.
But we all know about heart break, don't we? And we all continue to take the chances of heart break, even after knowing we could possibly get hurt again.
But because of what happened, you are reading this so you can start healing a broken heart. Is it easy? Definitely not, but you can do it, and you have to do it. Healing a broken heart can take no time at all, or take an awful long time, depending on how much you really did love that person. And your about to find out now.
My heart goes out to you as I know what you are going through, and I just want to tell you to keep the faith. I know these memories will get in your way on the road to healing, as love remembers. But little by little you will get through this, and learn to love again.
Many people who have been hurt so badly say, "that's it, I'm not falling in love again", or "I give up on men", or " I give up on women". People say many things as they have found that they have allowed themselves become vulnerable. And at this time they feel too vulnerable. And of course they say, "I will never do that again".
All of this is understandable. And you may want to do all those things for awhile. That's ok. But as you begin healing a broken heart, you will crave love again, and you will be willing to take that chance again. So let's start healing!
First, allow yourself to grieve. A time of mourning is natural. You are hurting really bad. Let the emotions come out and cry. Crying is good for you as it is part of the healing process. When you cry it releases the pain. Yes, they are tears of pain that has to leave your body and your soul. And this may go on for awhile. Let them flow. It's good for you.
Second, you are allowed to think about what just happened. Yes, please do so. Remember, you are in mourning and you have to go through this process, like it or not. I promise the hurt will go away, or at least lessen. This is a time for you to reflect on many things in your life. If you have friends and family around, please ask for their help. Talking it all out is good for you. Some people don't have anyone they can talk to that is that close. So make an appointment with a therapist, they can help. If money is an issue, go see a member of the clergy. They will be more then happy to help.
As you are healing a broken heart, getting depressed is normal. But if you are having thoughts of hurting yourself, seek professional attention right away. This is life and millions of people have gone through this, and I know you can too. I know you can. But if you require some help in the mean time, go get it NOW. It's nothing to be ashamed about! We all need help from time to time. You may be healing a broken heart, but I know you are not stupid. Get the help you need, ok?
They say that an idle mind is the devils workshop. A true statement.
And it is important to get this person out of your mind so you quit thinking of them, as you try healing a broken heart. I know, easier said then done. But you have to stop thinking of them in order to heal. I know that your loss will make you think of them, but take baby steps.
When they come to mind, and that is probably all the time, say to your self that every time this person comes into my mind I will change my thoughts to_________. It could be anything. When the person comes to your mind, change your thought to a hobby you enjoy, a vacation you went on as a child with your family, anything that works for you.
Depending on the type of person you are, healing a broken heart can be easier or harder then normal. You see, we are all different people. Some people are emotionally sensitive then others. But whatever your case, pondering on the lost love, has to stop.
Third, keep yourself busy. If you have a job that enables you to work a lot of hours, work them. Keeping your mind busy will stop you from thinking about your situation. You see, it is a fact that the brain cannot think of two things at the same time. So keep yourself busy at work, at a hobby, talking with friends, or whatever you choose. Just keep busy.
Exercise is good for you as it will relieve the stress that has built up in your body. It also releases those feel good hormones, that will help you feel better.
You are going to get and feel better. You will! This takes time, and time heals all wounds. I know for some of you that you loved so deeply that you don't want to forget what you had. You won't forget, but you will be able to function and live your life to the fullest.
You are also going to find that almost every song that was ever made is about love. Turn the radio off, or listen to up beat dance tunes. Honestly. These love songs make you emotional, and while you are healing a broken heart you don't want to go backwards as you are trying to move forward.
Don't try, accidentally on purpose, to run into them either. Out of site, out of mind. By seeing the person, in whatever circumstance, can only hurt you more. What you don't know, won't hurt you. And you are not in a position where you need to be hurt anymore.
As times move forward, you will too. I'm not saying this is not going to be painful, it will be. But you will become a stronger and wiser person out of it all. I know, it's a terrible way to grow. But you will, and you will take a chance on love again one day.
You see, there are many people in this world of ours that lose a loved one and struggle with healing a broken heart. But you have to understand, they lose their loved one from dating, divorce, relocation, and death. And in all these cases, life goes on. When you feel this pain you want the world to stop as their has been a tragedy. But it doesn't.
As the world goes on, so do we. We as humans were meant to be attracted to, and love many people. We find the one of our dreams, and for whatever reason it don't work it out, we usually find another love. Doesn't sound romantic does it?
But it is a fact. Boyfriends find new girlfriends, divorced people find new spouses, and widows find new mates also. You see, we all have the ability to love more then one.
And when you initially lose the one you love, healing a broken heart is difficult, at best. But as time heals all wounds, you start to forget little things about that love you lost. And as more time goes by, you forget how they smell. And as more time goes by you can't vividly remember how their skin felt like you used to. More and more they become a part of your past then a part of the present or future. Sad, I know.
And let's not forget the introduction of a new person that walks into your life. Yes, you are still healing a broken heart but now another is taking up some of your time. And all of a sudden, you aren't thinking of that person much at all. I read an article for women getting over heart break and the woman told another woman that the easiest way to get over heart break was "under another man." True? Maybe so.
You ask, is it all that simple? Well, depending how emotional of a person you are, as some are stronger then others. But in a word, yes. Out of site, out of mind, will bring you to time heals all wounds. This is who we are as humans. We all have the capability of loving more then one. Not without pain though. But when you do find one that you love, hold on to them dearly, don't take them for granite, keep the home fire burning always, and hopefully, you will never have to feel the pain of healing a broken heart again, being lonely, and the despair it brings.
My prayers are with you as you try healing a broken heart.