Many times during the course of a day, I have just a thought. Probably just like you. It could be on any subject really, but just a thought, just the same. Sometimes it is a search term that someone used to reach this site which triggers a short article.
When writing a web site, many times these thought aren't really enough to write a whole page on, so you just forget about it and think, maybe later I could turn this subject into an article. Well, instead I thought I would just write it as a short article.
Just A Thought
The Search for Happiness
Happiness is fleeting. It seems that sadness and depression will last a whole lot longer then happiness ever will, because it is the truth.
In this we live on this earth people experience all kinds of emotions and happiness is one that eludes us all, long term. We have bad childhoods, loose friends, jobs, homes, and lovers. And that's just the start of it. Terrible diseases and accidents overwhelm us, not to mention financial problems and crime we may be a victim of.
That's why we all say, "I just want to be happy". Happiness is fleeting. Sure, one day your up, or maybe a week, or even a year. But in life, life happens, which takes our happiness away. Yes it is fleeting. Which is why we value it so much, because it is never a constant.
Even for people who have he best of lives to include health, wealth, and love, there will always be times where even with all of that, happiness will be fleeting.
So structure your life the best you can, and think out of the box, and find the happiness your search for. It is the best feeling in the world if you can capture it.
Happy Valentines Day - We Dance In Many Relationships Throughout Our Livesby Robert Wilkinson
Happy Valentines Day. This year we'll re-visit some of what love, affection, boundaries, loyalties, seduction, and courtship are about, and some of what they're not.
(I wrote this last year, and have added more to flesh out some of the themes this year.)
We are told from a very high Spiritual Master of the Wisdom that "Right Relationship" is one of the key tasks we humans are learning throughout our lives on this Earth. All relationships teach us on-going lessons in finding and living our Highest Self.
Over time, through our willingness to interact with others, we find an endless variety of relationship experiences. Some of these are pleasurable and some are painful. How much they are either of these depends on what we've learned up to that point about repeating patterns and what we can do to change the ones that aren't good for us.
Our individual and mutual awareness when we're with others, and how we both respond to the dance between us, influences our experience with them. That's why examining and honoring "what brought us to the dance" to begin with can be a good reminder of why we're there and what we can bring out of the experience.
Sometimes what used to be pleasurable between two people becomes painful for a variety of reasons. It may or may not be personal, avoidable, or even the "fault" of one or the other. Life goes on, and we all grow in ways we may not have expected.
That's why just because we've danced with a Being for awhile doesn't mean we're necessarily supposed to dance with them indefinitely. Different seasons of life require different skills and realizations, and different people bring out different parts of our inner nature.
Of course, we can maintain relationships with those who share our Heart Fire even though we may be preoccupied with others in order to develop what we need to at that juncture of our life. Again, examining the dance with new people can help us gain perspective about what's right and/or not right in all of our existing relationships.
Often we meet people due to past karma, while other times it's a choice made in the moment. Not everyone we meet was "destined," and many choices create who shows up and when.
I believe that many interactions and choices in our life must be chalked up to "it seemed like a good idea at the time." While we can still bring a higher awareness out of painful experiences, it's important to note that it is up to us to know when, to quote a well known phrase, it's time to "hold 'em, fold 'em, walk away or run..."
How long a relationship lasts is entirely up to how we treat each other, since even apparently good ones can turn sour due to all kinds of reasons. Some relationships are tested through circumstance that isn't the "fault" of either person. Here the trials of life can help people know more about their strengths and weaknesses.
That said, all relationships evolve as a result of how people behave toward each other. As we get to know someone, we see them exhibit many types of responses. While everyone has idiosyncrasies, it's important to discriminate between behavior that is harmless and behavior that is a true deal breaker. Regardless of points of view, we are never supposed to put up with non-loving, abusive, manipulative, or one-sided relationships.
Below is a reprint by Robert Wilkinson who's web site Aquarius Papers is a favorite read of mine. The man has a way with words and hope you will enjoy.
One thing that is usually present in these types of toxic relationships is some element of seduction, or coercion. These can take many forms, and none will lead to healthy relationships. Seduction can feel very exciting, but as many of you already know, the wreckage isn't worth the price.
You can spot seductions by noticing if there are negotiations that involve you compromising something you believe in, or feel coerced into something that doesn't feel quite right. There may be elements of feeling like you're spinning your wheels, or that something is one-sided to the point where you know something's wrong, whether you can put your finger on it or not.
Other ways that indicate an element of seduction might be present include power games that leave you feeling that something is out of balance or even a sense of increasing powerlessness, or when you struggle with ideas or feelings that aren't ordinarily there when you're happy. Lies and deceptions that are justified by one to the detriment of the other always shows a seduction.
I do not believe any relationship can last where one is undermining the other, creating dependencies or self-doubt, or diminishing the sense of love we have for ourselves. When we feel these are happening, if we dig a little deeper we usually find at least one of various kinds of narcissistic behavior being forced on us.
Narcissism is not self love. It is vanity attached to an impermanent form that exalts the false sense of self over any true feeling of love. Throughout our lives we encounter different experiences of both Higher Love and lower desires, we learn the difference between how these feel, and how not to be seduced into attachments and affections that leave us feeling badly..
Remember our true Eternal nature is Unconditional Love, Wisdom, and Intelligence. As we embrace our Higher Self these higher qualities of our Soul-Spirit will become more evident in our actions, feelings, and thoughts.
As we embrace this higher "self love," we find it's directly related to our ability to love "God," our Truth of Being, and our community of loving Souls. These are solid reference points where we find gateways to a Higher Love. When we're oriented toward our higher Love, we cannot be seduced away from that which supports and demonstrates our Soul.
All relationships show us what we do and do not like or admire, or perhaps need to learn to like or admire. Sometimes this functions through positive experiences, sometimes through negative ones. Sometimes in our friendships we simply must tolerate some relatively harmless dislikes so we can grow in how we respond to that which is unfamiliar or not quite our cup of tea.
Others also go through this in their relationship to us. We usually don't have problems with what we both like; the rub in relationships is what one or both don't like. That's where small frictions become the grist for the mill of Soul, where we both learn the art of give and take.
This shows us how to maintain balanced loving friendships with those who share our deeper feelings and thoughts regardless of our disagreement in particulars. Small frictions should never lead to a violation of boundaries, free will, or our sense of loving God and each other. If we feel these are violated, then usually coercion is present, usually in the form of a seduction.
We owe it to ourselves to be treated with respect, love, affection, and friendliness. As we learn to embrace and demonstrate these qualities in our personality, we simultaneously learn to recognize these in a conscious way in our circumstances and relationships.
As we live these higher qualities the best we're able, we are given opportunities to offer these to others as well in a wide variety of ways appropriate to our interactive magnetism. Ultimately, the more we treat ourselves with respect, love, affection, and friendliness, even in our human fallibility, the easier it gets to offer them to our world on a consistent basis.
Whether spontaneous or learned, we can all grow into a greater love, respect, affection, and friendliness toward others with no hidden agendas to mess up the interaction. When there are hidden agendas, there are usually elements of seduction present.
Seductions are never harmless, since there is usually some manipulation that goes along with it. Once we get beyond seducing and being seduced, we neither manipulate nor can be manipulated. This leads to cultivating the virtues of detachment, dispassion, and discrimination even as it allows us to generate whatever good we feel is appropriate for us, another, or our world.
Yes, here it is again, St. Valentine's Day. This year, are you spending it with a person you love, or is this year another one spent alone? Or are you one of those who just goes through the motions and do your gift buying, dinner, I love you day?
As the emotional beings we are, we all crave for the unconditional love, the touch, and the sharing of life with someone. But love can be complicated as we all know. How does something we all crave, be so hard? This should be easy,right?Wouldn't that be nice!
Not only at this time of year, but at all times of the year, please take the time to love your partner. I mean love your partner! If you don't, you will distance yourselves from each other, and who knows what happens after that?
And don't forget the sex! Yes I said it out loud! It's good for you. It's good for both of you. If you are tired, too bad. If you are busy, too bad. If you are bored with it, then look online, talk frankly with your partner and try some really taboo things! You may find out a lot about your partner. And who knows, you may really like it!
As we celebrate love on this day, don't forget to celebrate every day. Love isn't easy always, but when lost, we will cry for it, mourn for it, get depressed over it, lie for it, steal for it, and some will even kill for it. It's that valuable! So don't take it for granted, OK?
Does security exist? The quick answer is yes, and no. The security of a job is not there anymore. Period. I just heard of a woman who lost her job after 21 years of service that was a friend of a friend. She was devastated.
Years ago, employers loved loyal employees like that. But the benefits, pensions, and other retirement packages rarely, if at all, don't exist in this world anymore.
We live in a throw away society.As things in our home need repair, many times it is much cheaper just to throw them away then to have them repaired. This "throw away" mentality has expanded in all that we do, doesn't it?
When your employer is done with you, you're gone. Period. Loyalty does not exist anymore. And that goes for anything in your life really. How about relationships? When a partner is done, bored, or whatever, it's over. Period!
More then ever people are self-centered. And they have realized how short life really is. Let's face it,you only get so many great years. After that, it slowly but surely declines. Quality of life declines, as your looks, your body, your health, your sex life, and everything else.
So is so wrong to be self-centered? After all, if it's not all about you, then what? Is it really that selfish, or self preservation? After all, you just have so much time, and you want to make the best of it, right?
Security? Yes there is. It's within you. You have to be and make yourself secure in all ways. You are the only one that is going to worry about you these days it seems.
Find yourself and all things that make you feel secure. Don't let a job or a person dictate that for you. Sure it will take some time, but that should be your goal for all of your years. Don't ever let anyone take that away, and never depend on anyone but you.
Maybe it is a harsh reality, but it is the way the world works these days. If you are one of the lucky ones with friends, family, and an employer that has your back, you are a very fortunate person, as that is generally not the case.
In my fifties, I can tell you heart warming stories of simpler times, and many my age and even those a little younger can do the same. But everything is relevant, so I need to write this in the context of a smaller town atmosphere. Although even in larger cities back then, I'm sure it was different.
Almost like a Norman Rockwell painting, small town living back then was nice. Playing wiffle ball in the streets, fishing in the creek that flowed under the Public Library, YMCA dances, and walks with your girlfriend through the neighborhood at night ant looking into her eyes under the street light, then stealing a kiss.
Although this may sound really corny to many now, it was my reality then. As years pass and the day to day grind in unbelievable commuting traffic, the prices of housing, and things as simple as getting your car repaired is really expensive, sometimes I wonder. Of course it doesn't help that I live near D.C.
I see the hub bub of mothers and fathers taking their kids to events, which is to-do. If the school calls and says your child is sick it could be an hour or more to fight traffic to get there. Even running to the grocery sore is an event.
Today, there are still towns out there that aren't too small and aren't too big either. The wages are not as high as you may used to either, but the price of rent or home ownership in half what it is in many parts of the country. It's easy to get to work, a slower life style, and a chance to enjoy your friends and family.
Is it perfect? Heck no! But at one point, you have to ask yourself, how many years to I want to endure the fast pace, the traffic, and crime too? To each their own, of course. And different strokes for different folks. But it seems to me that living in a city that is smaller, that is close to a large city for when you get a little itchy for more, would be just the ticket.
Did you ever think you would plan your day around traffic?
Just a thought.
----------------------------------------------------------------Just A Thought
Where Did The Time Go?
Really, where did the time go? It was like it took forever to get to the age of 16. How we counted the days down literally! Then, 18 what a year. You were an adult! Right? Then the fantastic 21, where many of us couldn't wait to hit the bars! I don't even know if remember all those evenings?
Time does seem to go slow when you're young. Even I thought it did. I figured it would take forever before I got "old". Guess what? It's here!
Generally speaking, I felt and looked thirty till I turned 50, but still felt and looked 40 and still thought I could conquer the world. Well, lost some hair, then hair growing out of places I didn't even know I had. Invested in the little blue pill when hitting 54, and now just about 56.
They say youth is wasted on the young. A topic to contemplate I am sure.
Most of all you wonder where the time went. Was it worth it to give your life and all those hours to your job? Was it missing out on children growing up, friends nights out, all the things you wanted to do but never had the time.
We chase the almighty buck as it never seems that time goes to fast, and of course, you will get to those things later. But later is now here! Was it worth it? That's going to be a decision for you to make day.
It is true that you only go around once. And once comes pretty fast, even if you don't know it yet. More then not, many people will utter those famous words, "if I only could do it over again".
What did you sacrifice married to a job? Do you still have close friends? Really? I mean close friends. Did you have the time to grow old with them and enjoy them? How about family. Yes, I know they can be a pain, but did distance keep you from the loving relationship you once had?
You hobbies you loved so much? Did you ever get to enjoy all those things you loved, or did they have to wait until...?
Your spouse? Did you "grow apart"? Would you have if you were home and remembered why you fell in love to begin with. Anyone would grow apart if you never saw each other!
Did you help people that were in need once in a while? Did you give back? Did you nourish your soul. Do you know your children at all?
Well, if you were fortunate enough to have done all that and have money too, you won the brass ring! But for many, they chase the almighty dollar, and will never know what they sacrificed until it is too late.
Give your life some thought. Remember, no matter how much money end up with, was it worth what you lost? remember, you only go around ONCE!
Ya, I know it's been a while since I have posted. It's been crazy right now. Amazing how many people have more money then brains, but that's for another article. LOL
Passion seems to be a topic I get a lot of searches about. Or should I say the lack thereof. Passion is a funny thing. We all desire it, need it, and actually require it for happiness and fulfillment. But so many live every day without it. Whether you're in a relationship or not.
Passion for your partner, or FWB as far as that goes, it is the frosting on the cake. But as the same old same old affects our lives, we tend not to nourish it.
Passion for one another has to come naturally in the first place. An overwhelming desire to "connect" so to speak.
We as humans can have all the "adult activity" we want, and yes it is needed and feels good, but add passion to the mix and it brings you to a whole other level.
However, like everything else if it is not nurtured it can go stale. Think about things in every day life that you have had a passion about? Then think about as time passes it starts to wane. After a while, taking things for granted can allow the passion to fade and before you know it, you don't like those things anymore.
Relationships are the same way really. All that passion and life happens. Many can live with this passionate feeling for many years. Some let go by the way side. It has always been said that you have to work at a relationship. Part of that relationship is passion. And yes, it has to be worked at too! Let's face it, if you are basically ignoring each other as life takes it toll on each other, the passion will fade.
Remember each other! Bring passion back into your life.
Feeling down and a little depressed I think is normal from time to time. Sometimes life beats you up a little more then normal.But if these feeling last for a long time, you really need to talk with a professional to get you out of your funk.
I know, you say that you're just fine and will get through it. And you're probably right. BUT, don't let it go too long. You don't want to feel like that day after day do you?
Sometimes we just get too down on ourselves. Maybe a relationship made you feel worthless, maybe you haven't climbed the ladder of so-called success like your piers, maybe you compare yourself to others too much, and I can go on and on about maybe's.
I read where 80 million prescriptions were wrote last year for some form of depression. It's not such a taboo subject anymore and let's face it, it's better to feel good again no matter what anyone says.
There will always be greater and lesser people then you in this world. That's just life. But you hold a great amount of promise in your heart and soul. You do! You just aren't realizing it.
Seek help if you need it. If you know someone that you think needs some help, maybe you should offer a hand up. Help them get help. Conversations with people seem to slipping anymore. With email, text messages, and IM to name a few, people don't talk like they used to. Start a conversation with a friend or family member. Talk like we used to and connect. You would be surprised how much someone needs to just vent a little to feel better.
We all depend on things familiar it seems. After all, it allows us to feel secure. However, as much as we like it, change is going to happen, like it or not.
There are many who have lost their life style in this economy and nothing they do is familiar anymore. There are those who have had to move for a job, or to take care of a relative, and nothing is the same and we feel off balance.
There is being familiar, or in love, with a person and now it's gone and nothing is familiar at all. And if we have health problems, then nothing is the same.
We like the same. It's dependable, it's safe, and it keeps us going. But life is full of change and we cannot stop it. Some have more then others, but it's still going to happen.
We change as people. About every decade in our lives as we grow and learn, we change our thoughts, our opinions, and our actions on a multitude of subjects. We become different people from the people we once knew.
Scary? Sure it is. At least for many. If things are changing in your life, embrace what might be. Trying to hide from change is futile because it's coming and you can't hide. Just around the new corner can very well be a whole lot of happiness.
Memories of what has been are always nice to reflect on, no doubt. But it's time for new memories to be added. You can still keep your old ones, but be open to add some new ones.-----------------------------------------------------------------
Just A Thought
Ladies, have you had the extreme pleasure of going out with a man on a date with coupons in his back pocket? OMG! LOL Or how about the restaurant choice is because of the special they are running that evening, or happy hour prices!
Where did you find this cheapskate? And what in the hell are they thinking. Guys, if you can't afford to go out, you should stay in until you can afford it. Period! You're not impressing anyone at all when you go out with this lovely creature and your eyes pop out of your head because she ordered an expensive drink while you suck down a draft beer so you don't have to pay for a bottle of beer!
What ever happened to taking a woman out because you like her and want to do something nice with her? What has happened to this world? And I have read recently a few articles about some guys very upset because they took a date out for what they deemed and expensive dinner, and were very upset they didn't get laid! You're kidding right?
What made you think in the first place that her body was for sale for the price of a dinner? Does it make any sense whatsoever?
Women have come a long way in the past twenty years I am happy to say. Many are very intelligent, worldly, and well read. In fact I think the figure is that they make up 60% of the work force, and support themselves. And as driven and hard as any man, they are still women who demand respect, just like you. They want to be treated like a woman, and show them chivalry is not dead.
What ever happened to the class, romance, and respect of yester year?
What's that all about? I read an article that said by the year 2015 many homes will be built with 2 master bedrooms!
What ever happened to connecting and wanting to be near the one you love? As a hopeless romantic, I think the world has gone crazy as far as love and romance.
Yes, I understand that they say that a good night sleep is very good for you. I also read you will even age more gracefully with 8 hours of sleep a day. And yes, I do realize that in today's society that after basically living at work, fighting the commute, not to mention all the errands to run, that when you're tired and ready to go to bed, you're ready to go to bed.
Furthermore, I do understand that some people are not the greatest to sleep with. With teeth grinding, snoring, talking in your sleep, and vivid dreaming, getting a good night sleep may not sound all that easy. And many times, people separate of issues like this.
But how do you bypass the connection? What ever happened to wanting that person near you? To roll over and see them next to you. The joy of putting your arm around them? The feeling of your leg touching their leg?
You want to talk about growing apart? OK, let's do that. So you work all day, do your commute and errands, possibly a few drinks with co-workers or friends after work a night or two, and you have exactly how much time together? Subtract the amount of time you are not sleeping with your partner, and now exactly how much time do you have together? -0-!
Wouldn't it be easier to live by yourself and just have a sleepover for sex? After all, there is no bond now, or it seems in the future.
How do people not have romance and true love in their hearts? Is everyone going to grow up numb to romance and bonding? Or maybe I am just an old hopeless romantic.
If your partner has a sleeping disorder, get it fixed! NOW!
If you think you want to sleep alone with the touch of one that you say you love because they have sleeping problems, you have no idea how many problems you really do have. Because after the connection, the bond, the touch is gone, you'll have financial problems getting out of the marriage.
Years pass, things change, and mostly for the better I agree. But some things like the basic love and connection for your partner has also seemed to disappear for the most part, which I think is unhealthy and not so great of a change.
by Michael Lutinhttp://www.michaellutin.com/dailyfix.htm
People will still fall madly in love. Others will roll over in bed, take one look at their mate and think, " I’ve got to get out of here.”
Thanks to Saturn in Libra.
Saturn in Libra does NOT deny relationships at all. On the contrary. It demands that you have them. It does create idealization when you first meet someone because you think " Thank God. Where have you been all my life?"
And it’s natural to idealize the possibilities in a new relationship, because let’s face it, when you do stumble on that special person, you do see them completely perfect. It’s your love for someone that COULD restore them to the perfection you see in them when you first meet.
The disappointment comes later when you learn that your love was not enough.
What hurts the most is the fact that no matter how much you love someone, they are who they are, and are probably better for your loving them, but they continue suffering from the wounds they sustained long before you came along.
Romance and unconditional love are vital ingredients in any relationship, oddly enough in business as well as in private life. They both require the same trust and dedication and naivete. You cannot, however, must not, ever forget that all relationships are the product of negotiations.
Especially now when a New Moon in Capricorn this coming week occurs while Saturn is going retrograde in Libra.Deals sometimes fall apart.People back out.
It's time to rethink and reorganize and especially RENEGOTIATE.
Coping with Difficult Feelings in the Holiday Season
by Robert Wilkinson
From years of personal experience and knowing many who have had similar responses, it's evident that the holiday season may bring up difficult feelings for all kinds of reasons. Not that we all have them every year, but it is normal for many to experience sadness or some difficulty with their emotions. While I believe this can be an antidote over time, for those who are struggling it can be challenging. Today's article offers some ideas to assist those trying to cope.
This probably doesn't apply to those in the Southern Hemisphere and enjoying the sunshine and the beach. However, in the dark days of June and July down under, please revisit this article if you're having a hard time with the lack of Solar force or know someone else who is.
It is entirely normal to have deep feelings and occasionally some measure of sorrow or sadness at this time of the year, at least in the Northern Hemisphere. In the Northern Hemisphere it is the year's end, the "harvests" have been tallied, and usually there are unfulfilled dreams. There isn't much solar force to cheer us up, and those places that are cold and barren are, well, cold and barren.
Yet we're supposed to be happy, cheerful, filled with merriment and goodwill to all. Or so our legends, myths, and advertisers tell us. Those who are cheered by such things are blessed, but there are some times when these do not help us feel better.
There are many contributing causes to all kinds of sorrowful or frustrating feelings. Because it is considered "the end of the year" in most Western cultures in the Northern Hemisphere, of course we would feel that another year is gone, bringing up a self-examination.
What have we done? What have we fulfilled? How have we fallen short of what we desired for the past year relative to last year's intention? Just what have we accomplished? Are we better or worse off than last year? Due to the nature of desire and the subjective mind, it is natural to go into negative or unhappy states. Comparisons of the reality versus the ideal will often lead into funky feeling and mental states.
I believe it is human to feel like we should be doing more, accomplishing more, having more, knowing more, and all those desires with which our higher aspirations would feel fulfilled. And yet, as humans we also have natural limitations, that examined from one point of view both keep us out of trouble AND offer us unlimited promise for the future.
We cannot simultaneously have both lower pleasures and higher ones, except briefly. We must lose people who no longer belong with us or we with them, so that we can make time and space for better ones in the future. Old jobs give way to new skills that promise a more fulfilling life.
Why now? Since nature in the Northern Hemisphere is in its season of rest after a year of putting forth leaves, flowers, and fruits, Winter is where we can understand the past year's events as a whole "cycle of manifestation." In that sense, Winter is a season of "making report" to one's God, Master, or Truth-of-Being. Unfortunately, due to the nature of our subjective self-judgments, we are more apt to find that which is lacking than that which we have accomplished.
It is natural to feel all sorts of things because of all sorts of reasons. It's part of being human. And yet, we have the power to redirect our body, feelings, and mind any time we want. This is not denial in the sense of avoidance, but it is the power of radical dispassion that yields infinite compassion for ourselves and others as humans.
Over the years my own feelings have gone through all kinds of changes. Sometimes I've experienced very sad states, and within hours also experienced true joy. This perplexed me when I was younger and didn't understand just how much power we humans have to redirect when we choose to. I learned that we cannot force it in the usual sense, but we can coax forth better feelings if we persist in not feeding the sorrow and take heart in the moment, breathing and loving the best we're able.
While it wasn't easy when I started, it's become easier over the years to move through strong sad feelings, my own and others', with compassion. While it's human to feel sad at endings it's also possible not to lose one's equilibrium. I can truly say that every time I've chosen to "take the high road" consistently as part of my Spiritual practice, most of my difficult feelings quickly went away and I was left with compassion.
For those who struggle with frustrating feelings, please remember that these too shall pass. Your view will be different quicker than you suspect if you don't clutch at strong negative feelings.
It is also useful to examine whether you're having a hard time, having a hard time because someone else is having a hard time, or whether you're just picking up on the generic hard time that pervades the collective unconsciousness. Because we are linked with others in so many subtle ways, we can be picking up on a feeling that is around us, but not necessarily due to any thing we've done or not done.
That's why it's important to try to see the being having a hard time as something that needs a degree of tender care and gentle self-discipline. Consider it as a test of compassionate detachment, cultivating an open mind and open heart as you learn to bless and forgive yourself, turning negative feelings and thoughts to loving ones.
When any trial of endurance is over, we are left with Self knowledge, strength, forms of wisdom born of our experiences, and the space to grow toward a better life and relationships. The trick is not to do destructive things while we are feeling sad, since these only aggravate our frustration and the intensity of our sorrow.
No matter how bad it seems, it's not as bad as it could be as long as we don't feed the negativity. Tomorrow holds tremendous promise, if we're ready to perceive it and embrace it.
Even in apparent failure, our creative imagination is stimulated and we are strengthened by our effort. I have found that gently and persistently choosing to discipline the Higher Mind to remember that lower states are always temporary usually helps us not go into spaces we don't need to, and can even help us realize some parts of our common humanity.
While sometimes it seems grim, we're never as alone, isolated, or powerless as we may feel. Everything changes the moment you awaken to (or remember) your Eternal Self that possesses the Divine Power of Magnetic Attraction.
This ensures that you will inevitably find that which fulfills you, if only you release your internal blockages and reservations about being truly fulfilled. Sometimes it's as simple as opening the door to greet the guest, or getting out of the "house of personality" and seeing a larger view of how we came to be who we are and choosing anew. Getting out of our own way is a useful skill to cultivate so that we can allow our Truth-of-Being to flow through us, rather than stay stuck in unhelpful states of mind and feeling.
We must feel all the feelings there are to feel if we are to master our emotions. That's a part of our human nature. We must also think all the thoughts we can think so we can come to understand our power to build positive and productive thought forms while rejecting erroneous perceptions and assumptions. These disciplines help us realize and apply our Divine powers, taking them from latent to active as we master various areas of our personal and interpersonal human existence.
As we master our feelings and our minds, we can commune with others who struggle with those same difficulties we also once had, helping them not feel so isolated and/or powerless. In those moments we are offered opportunities to practice our ability to be a loving light in the darkness of worldly experience, and demonstrate a higher Love that antidotes the fear, anger, and suffering that all humans experience who are still struggling with their feelings and perceptions.
So if you're having a hard time, you're not alone. And you can find your way to peace, love, and a sense of well-being if you find the right mental and emotional "antidotes." If you're not having a hard time, then send a prayer to those who suffer as one who has transcended to whatever degree the tendency to have a hard time during the holidays.
It may sound strange, but it's true. Fate or free will? Free will makes sense to many people. You make you own life. Period! However, on the other hand, many people believe in fate or destiny. Are things destined to happen in your life? It's an age old question that I guess we will never know the answer to.
At this time of the year people reflect on many things in their lives. And many times most of us anyway can't make a lot of sense of the things that have happened to us, good or bad. But as you reflect, think about the sometimes uncanny things, and people, that have crossed your path.
Sometimes it seems that you meet someone that in a casual conversation, may give you an idea to start a business. Sometimes, someone may cross your path and not knowingly, help you through a rough patch you are going through. And then sometimes, a few words of inspiration that you have heard before, comes out of the mouth of someone that says the same thing, only a little different that makes you think.
Is this fate or destiny? Were you destined to meet this person to get you back on track? Was someone supposed to cross your path to give you words of faith, healing, or words to believe in yourself again? Maybe someone was just there for a little while offering a shoulder to cry on and a rock to lean on.
Have you ever almost got into an accident but for some reason something got in the way to prevent it? Can free will do all these things or is it fate or destiny? Were you destined to not get into the accident or was it just free will and luck?
The people that seem to walk into your life out of the blue, and all of a sudden are gone as fast as they appeared, were meant to cross your path I think. For the almost accident that could have been devastating, you might of discarded as luck, but was there a higher force that prevented you from this as you were needed to be around to possible change someone else's life? I guess we will never know for sure.
But as we are reflecting this time of year, say a thank you in your private moments to the people that you crossed your path, that have truly changed your life. And a little prayer for them wouldn't hurt.
And for those things that have almost happened to you that could have saved your life, be thankful of these moments and don't take them for granted. And a little prayer wouldn't hurt here either.
I know, such a strange topic on Christmas Eve. But some people actually want a tattoo for Christmas. Go figure? But really, what's so strange?
We are all subject to new idea's, new trends, and new opinions and thoughts. You'll find that every decade that goes by, you will change. After all, after ten years, you are going to look at many things a little different based on experiences and lessons learned in life.
It's not like you're late to the party wanting a tattoo after 40, it's just your time maybe. You'll probably also find that more women feel this way at this age then men do. At this age we come into our own. It's a feeling we didn't have before and now it's here, like being a rebel in your youth, or maybe it's just plain fun to do something unorthodox for yourself. Many believe it's just plain sexy! You desire to be the "bad" girl or guy?
I can tell you that life is short. And I know I have said this many times before, but it is a true statement. The 40's are the decade of separation too. It's when many start to realize that life is short and they think of all the things they want to to, and never did, and don't have much more time in a youthful body to experience things.
So if it's your time to get inked, go do it. If it means adding what you may perceive as a little dangerous, knock yourself out.Just remember, don't get one while your drunk, or you may go a little over board. Also, as open as we are in this society anymore, there still is conservatism out there in the work force, and your employer might not understand. And we both know the value of an income.
Get it and have it put where only "you know who" can see it. That's even more exciting when all of a sudden it comes to light under the right circumstances. (LOL)
The frenzy of the holiday is upon us. We are supposed to put aside all our issues, love one another and think only caring, generous thoughts.
The fact is, relationships are deepening. You will find that you are interested in real connections. Relationships that have already been in existence move to another level now.
People begin to see others as they are, not as they imagined them to be. That is how you get closer to somebody–allowing them to see who you are and not freaking out and running the other way when you see who THEY are.
You try to be light, and chase after a golden egg, but when you finish all the superficial running around, the people who mean more to you are still there, either across the table, beside you in bed or thousands of miles away but still right there in your brain and under your skin.
This is the odd result of Saturn’s transit in Libra.No relationship is light.
Even if it seems like a happy, little lark on the surface, it isn’t.
You’ll either struggle with someone when they’re there and miss them when they are gone. The whole thing is designed to make you sensitive to the needs and realities of others and, ouch, to show you exactly what you are attracted to.
Because that’s the secret. The ones you select are the ones you want and the ones you want possess something you deeply yearn to be united with, those desires coming from somewhere deep within you.
It seems it's always time for healing, doesn't it? It seems when times like this with Christmas and all, we tend to reflect on our lives. Maybe because it marks the passing of another year gone by?
We are faced with loss in our lives constantly. The loss of a job, a home, a loved one, or a relationship, not to mention all of the other things we lose in our lives.
Loss is tough to deal with, especially when every time you turn around, you lose something. It's a part of life we all would like to do without, I'm sure.
But whether it Christmas or not, it's always time to heal. Healing makes you strong enough to endure the next bout. Heal you must! Time really does heal all wounds. Some just take a little longer then others. So heal my friend, and I wish you less heartache in the year to come.
Sex is such an important part of relationship, but of course we have all heard that. And I am sure there are some women and men, saying paalleeaasse! But wait a minute.
Sex is a natural component of a relationship, but after a while people say, I don't have an interest, my partner doesn't trip my trigger, or after all these years with the same person, it's boring and I can't get excited.
Or, there are those who say, be realistic. Between my job, taking care of the house, paying the bills, taking care of the kids, or parents, and the list goes on, where is there the time? Or who is in the mood at that point of exhaustion? And I say, rightly so.
We are all different, and passionate monkey sex is great no doubt, if you have the desire and passion, and even when you don't. LOL
And every doctor will tell you it's good for you, whether they are for mental health of and MD.
But what most people miss is intimacy. Yes intimacy. A body's soul needs it, requires it, and it's food for your heart and soul. Sex is a release, but it where you bond. The closeness of being one. Foreplay it seems went out with the dark ages, along with being a romantic. Today it seems, it's just an act. But it's missing the connection, the intimacy.
Intimacy warms us, keeps us going, gives us something to look forward to, not just the sex act itself. Yes, horny passionate pounding sex is great, but intimacy and romance has to fall in here somewhere.
Because it don't find it, the strained relationships will become more strained. The lack of interest or desire of your mate will come, I promise. It has been said in jokes about the lack of interest many women have, especially after being married for a while. True? I don't know. What I do know is as life happens, we can't walk around living with one another without closeness, and intimacy.
Any man or woman can have sex, but ask anyone about an intimate moment, and they will use many words to try and describe the feelings they felt. Women think men just want sex. Well, yes and no. Yes they do, but ladies, we both know that a woman controls everything. And a man, although they man not admit it, want the nurturing intimacy only you can provide.
They yearn for it as much as you do, and without it you will find that you will forget about the love you once felt for each other. Even out of bed, (or the kitchen counter) a pinch on the butt here, a wet kiss on the back of neck there, the gentle stroke of moving her hair out of her face, and the hug (no pat on the back) that doesn't seem to end is all so important.
Sex, well we all can get anywhere. But intimacy will get you to last a lifetime together.
Some have already dubbed it the George Clooney Effect: Psychologists in Scotland have found that as women become more financially independent, they want an older, more attractive male partner.
Studies have previously found that women place greater emphasis on whether a man can provide for them, while men place more importance on good looks. The new study revealed that as women earn more and become more independent, their tastes actually change.
The finding suggests that greater financial independence gives women greater confidence in choosing their partner. Instinctive preferences for material stability and security become less important, physical attractiveness becomes more important, and the age of a woman’s partner also increases. [May/December Couples Boost Human Life Span]
Read the rest of this article by By Rick Nauert, PhD, Senior News Editor, PsychCentral.com posted: 13 December 2010 02:49 pm ET http://www.livescience.com/culture/rich-women-prefer-older-men-george-clooney-effect-101213.html
I never put a lot of thought on writing on this subject, but I thought I would share. There are many ways we show each other interest/affection. And I have to assume here that woman are more inclined to pick up these types of things, then men.
I always say that if someone hugs you, there is some affection there. But, if you get a hug with those three pats on your back too, you're just friends.
I walked into the middle of a conversation with two woman at a Christmas party and they were talking about these. Old wives tales? Who knows? A woman in her fifties was telling a woman in her thirties that if a man is wearing a suit coat and a woman brushes off lint on the coat, it's a sign of affection. I can see that. Why else would anyone else care?
I’ve never been to heaven, instead I spent the night with you.
"What's Come Over Me"
This is worth a listen. Make sure you listen to the whole thing though. Lyrics below.
What’s wrong with my mindWhat’s come over meI thought I saw your face
Wearing a smile, dimple on the side
What’s come over me(What’s come over me)What’s come over me(What’s come over me)
What’s wrong with my earsThey’re deceiving meI thought I heard you speak
Calling my name, I must be insane, I just can’t explain
What’s come over me(What’s come over me)What’s come over me(What’s come over me)
Don’t tell me I’ve stumbled upon youOr is my mind in a dazeFor this can’t be as real as I want it
For you let me go, then went way
Some kind of feelin’(What’s come over me)
Just look at me now, seems like I’m floating on a cloudOh, what could this be
What’s come over me(What’s come over me, over me, come over me)What’s come over me(Over me)
Over and over, baby(What’s come over me)What’s come over meWhat’s come over me(Over me, come over me, over me)(Ah...ah...)
You see, I must have gone through some changes when I kissed your picture
And hey, my mind just keeps on wondering when you only left me yesterday
I’ve never been to heaven, instead I spent the night with you
Maybe that’s the reason I don’t know what to doWhat’s come over me
What’s come over me(Over me, come over me, over me)What’s come over me
Over and over, baby(What’s come over me, over me, over me)And I can’t break freeWhat’s come over meOver and over and over and I just can’t sleep(What’s come over me, over me, came over me, over me)Tell me, tell me what’s come over and over, baby(What’s come over me, over me, over me)
Having a family is different today then years gone by. I come from a family of five children and today the average is nowhere near that. I think it's 2?
I heard a statistic today that people having children is lower then ever before. In fact, they said that only thirteen per one thousand people choose to have a child.
Having children isn't for everyone. With twelve hour days for work, and that's if you only work forty hours with commute time, life is hectic. By the time you work, sleep, run errands, normal appointments for doctor, dentist, and what have you, there is no time left in your week.
Now add children to the mix, and it can be exceptionally. I'm not knocking having children, but it seems things weren't so crazy as things are today. Plus, it helps I came from a small community so it was definitely a slower pace.
I see many divorced couples having an easier time with raising children the married ones, as they have the children a few days each, therefore having a few days off. Who would have thought getting divorced would make things a little easier??
The broadcast said in lieu of children people have pets. In fact they said that 66% of people have at least one pet. Who knows where all this may go, but what changes we are going through.
The other day at work I overheard a conversation between a couple of women and the one was telling the other how she met a guy a week ago, liked him, but he wasn't her type. She went on to say he was cute, was a lot of fun, had a good job, and all that stuff, but was going to end it.
Many people have an idea what attracts them to another. People not only can grow on you, given a chance, but I think sometimes people can fool you. Without giving someone a chance to see, how would you ever know for sure?
Because you are used to what you think is your type, does not mean going after someone that isn't is wrong. You might be pleasantly surprised. Some people personality and traits are "out there" to see easily. And some people traits are there and with a little looking can be a great fit.
This woman was about 40, divorced, and evidently the type she thinks she like, but look what happened. It wasn't a good fit after all. So the next time you meet someone, give them a chance to get to know them, because you never know.
Everyone says it, and the thing about it is it's so true. You don't realize it when you are growing up. One year is like an eternity! But I think you will notice that every decade of your life will seem to go by faster then the decade before it.
I was born in the mid fifties, and yes I am 55, and I can tell you that life is shorter then you realize. That being said, enjoy life as much as you can. Laugh a little more, cry a little less, dance as if there was no one watching, and love as if there was no tomorrow!
We take this precious little time we have here and take it for granted sometimes. And let's face it, if you are in good health now, watch out for your fifties and sixties. Those decades seem to have health consequences more then others I think. So how many adult decades do you really have, while healthy?
Especially in relationships, you get mad at someone and break up or divorce, and not ever talk to each other again. Then there is the plain misunderstandings that tear people apart, and there is always someone that don't want to talk about it. Know what I mean?
There are many times I'm sure where one person is about to leave this world and as they contemplate their life, I am sure there are regrets of stupid things, and things said, they may have done to some people in their lives. And they aren't even healthy enough, or too many years have passed, to make amends.
All this may sound silly if you're young, but as this is a relationship site, it really isn't. Life is short my friend.
I have seen many pass away in my life and I just saw where football star Don Merideth passed away from a brain hemorrhage, which got me thinking. I remember him so well as a kid, which seems like yesterday. Where did the years go?
Yes, I am a hopeless romantic and I love R&B music. Or I should say R&B music of the past. Those old romantic songs of the past trip my trigger. And although Christmas songs are nice and get you all warm and fuzzy inside, this song by Luther Vandross is perfect. I added the video and lyrics for your pleasure. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have.
I don't know how love could do this to meI've waited and waited for someone I've never seenBut I'm so sentimental, and I'm so hopeful you'll be hereSo, here I am every year, every Christmas. (Yes)
I've wished for you in my heart and in my head And I got my answer that first moment that we metAnd, oh yes, I believed you as you told me, as you saidYou'd be here every year, every Christmas
There must be a lesson for me to learnIf you don't trust in love, you'll get nothing in returnWhy should I be lonely, don't tell me it's fineI have my pride, but I'd rather be with you tonight
So much emotion, it's driving me mad (yeah)But I'll take my chances with these feelings that I haveAnd I'll come back to this same corner where we metAnd I'll be here every year, every Christmas
Mere words can't explain the pain and the fear'Cause oh, I wonder, yes, I wonder are you gonna leave me standing hereToday's almost over, but I don't wanna leaveHas my heart made a fool out of me?
My friends gather round me with holiday cheerThey say to forget you, to let you go 'cause you're not hereWell, I can't keep explaining what they'll never understandAnd why I'm here every year, every ChristmasI return every year, every ChristmasI come here every year, every Christmas
In the course of our lives, there are plenty, and I mean plenty of opportunities to hold grudges. And the reasons for holding these grudges I am sure are fact based and are done for what seems, good reasons. OK, so we agree on the basics.
But, and you know there is always a but, life is too short. Please believe me on this one. When someone hurts you, takes advantage of you, steals from you, lies to you, or basically, "throws you under the bus", you have to let it go.
Many people these days are self centered and covet what others have. Many are just down right thieves. But life is too short to hold that much hatred inside of you. It will eat you up, like a cancer.
What does holding a grudge accomplish? Now don't get me wrong, I don't mean to go on being their friend, what I mean is to let it go and just don't associate with them again.
If you thought you were going to go through this world and never get screwed, you are sadly mistaken. Everybody gets screwed. Some just worse then others.
As New Year resolutions are part of bringing in a new year, make one to not hold grudges, as they serve no purpose. You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family, and you're stck with them. So choose a better class of friends, and as far as family, just keep to yourself if they're on your shit list.
I live in the Washington DC area and often listen to WHUR radio station after 7pm for their segment "The Quiet Storm". They play a lot of recent and older R&B music. Really romantic music! Anyway, I was driving last night and had the station tuned in, of course, and heard this song "Old Friend" sung by Phyllis Hyman.
I have added the You Tube Video below along with the lyrics for your enjoyment. I think you will REALLY enjoy this. The unfortunate about this is she killed herself a few months ago. My prayers are with her, but she left this beautiful song for us in this world.
A million times or more I thought about you
The years, the tears, the laughter, things we used to do
Are memories that warm me like a sunny day
You touched my life in such a special way
I miss the way you'd run your fingers through my hair
Those cozy nights we cuddled in your easy chair
Oh no, I won't let foolish pride turn you away
I'll take you back whatever price I pay
It's so nice to feel you hold me again
No, it doesn't matter where you have been
My heart welcomes you back home again
Remember those romantic walks we used to take
You held my hand in such a way my knees would shake
You can't imagine just how much I've needed you
I've never loved someone as I love you
It's so nice to feel you hold me again
No, it doesn't matter where you have been
My heart welcomes you back
This is where our happy ending begins
Yes, I'm sure this time that we're gonna win
Welcome back into my life again
Yes, I've tried to live my life without you
Knowing I had lost my closest friend
And though I'm feeling low from time to time
Knowing I will never find the kind of love I had when you were mine
It's so nice to feel you hold me again
No, it doesn't matter where you have been
My heart welcomes you back
This is where our happy ending begins
Yes, I'm sure this time that we're gonna win
Welcome back into my life again
Welcome back into my life again
Welcome back into my life again
Just A Thought
Love Don't Cost A Thing
Searching and searching. It seems that many go through the daily grind of life to get through another day. What's the answer? If you are fortunate enough to have a significant other, you answer is just a few steps away. Oh how we forget this though.
One day bleeds into another and the search of happiness and contentment alludes us, or so we think. It's right there! Do you remember how you craved the touch of this person? Do you remember the yearning of their presence, the conversations, and let's not forget the sex.
Do you remember how good it felt just to be near and talk with them and share simple things in life? Do you remember the love, and the lust? Our cup can runs over with contentment if you take a step back and remember.
It's not the house, the car, the vacation, the fancy dinners, or the concerts. You can't replace that bond with anything, as nothing else will ever give you that kind of joy.
When single are we looking for the person that makes good money, has a powerful position, model good looks, and perfect circumstances for things to develop with one another? Sometimes, and probably most of the time none of these will happen. But if you find the right person, you have found someone that will enjoy the greatest happiness you will ever experience.
Love don't cost a thing, but getting together may not be so easy, and when you do, is the love that developed been taken for granted? Put life on the back burner and enjoy the love you once knew, as love remembers.
Birthdays are a special time for us each and every year. Although depending on who you talk to, as one gets older they don't like to celebrate their birthday. It reminds them of getting older, dreams not fulfilled, loved ones lost, and a host of other emotional issues. I just had a few in my house.
Your birthday is special! And the people, or the one, that love you are excited that it a special day. It's your day. And that's how you should look at it too. Once a year, you are the special one. The day to let everyone in your life make a fuss over you. Isn't that great!
As we speak of love and relationships here, this day is the day your loved one really does enjoy fussing over you, so let them. If not, you better have a talk with them.
You seem to remember birthdays. You may not be able to remember a lot, but you always someone's birthday. George Strait put out a song, "moments that take your breath away" which is a great tear jerker, but it sums up life. As it says in the song, it's not the breath you take, but the moment that take your breath away.
And these special times in your life when someone thinks about you on your birthday, expresses their love, and hopefully a few really nice gifts, are moments that take your breath away and are times to remember as these special times are so far and few between.
It is a terrible shame what stress can do to you and your marriage/relationship. I'm not talking about regular everyday stress that we have all been accustomed to, but debilitating stress that seems to overwhelm you.
Many people have never experienced this emotion, and many have. For those of you that have, you know everything is out of control. And in a loving relationship it can take it's toll. It's not that just now because of the economy being so bad, but it happens to people when the economy isn't so bad too.
Life just happens. A company closes, or someone gets laid off, or whatever the circumstance. Your credit goes down the tubes, you fight for food on the table, your rent or mortgage goes unpaid, and maybe eviction.
But to see otherwise strong, to death to us part relationships fall apart, it is awful sad. Many times two people will split because one, or both try and protect the other from any more doom and gloom and walk away even though they love that person to death. And like the old saying goes, "desperate people do desperate things".
If this is happening to you, try and hold on. Try as hard as you can, because we all know that nothing is forever. Nothing. And the love you have for someone is a precious thing and it would be a crying shame to lose this precious gift of loving someone and them loving you back.
Just A Thought
Hating The Opposite Sex
Hate may seem to be a strong word, but that's how many stories are told about the opposite sex. I read a lot, and on many obscure sites. The things that some men say about women, and things that are said about men from women, are bitter. Very bitter.
In life there are very few of us, if any, that get through life without hurt and pain. And relationships especially can tear us apart when they go sour. We give these relationships our all. Every drop of our soul we willingly give to someone we love.
But when things don't work out in relationships, someone gets hurt. And it may not be the first time either. This pain of loss contaminates our heart and soul, and it is easy to become bitter. But you cannot hate all people because some of them do you wrong.
It's not women or men that are bad. It's individual people that do these things. Don't hate all, when a few mistreat us. There are so many great people in this world of both sexes. Give love another try.
Just A Thought
Lies on Resume. Is it wrong?
Ok, we all know to lie is wrong. And if you were an employer, would you hire a liar? But what would you do if you were desperate for a job?
A friend of mine has been searching for a job for a while now. He is about 50, lot's of experience in his job, and great references too. He is one versatile guy too. I was always a little jealous of him as there never seemed that there was nothing he couldn't do. Him being out of work blows my mind.
He's not proud either. He has applied for all types of positions. I think he made about 70k a year in his profession, but has applied for jobs that paid ten dollars an hour just to support his family and he is ok with that.
But not a bite. I suppose that anyone hiring right now knows that when, and if, another job comes along he would leave, and rightly so, so why hire him? Right?
I suppose that is fair for the employer, but what is he supposed to do? He went through his savings, and now with the holidays coming, adding insult to injury, he is selling off furniture and I assume will have to move in with a family member.
He is to the point where he wants to make up a fake resume to remove all his accomplishments though the years and make a basic, lackluster resume to obtain any hourly position. He really feels guilty about it, and says he will never get away with it anyway, as things like that can be checked so easily. And then there is the references. He couldn't use his professional ones, so then what? Maybe an employer won't check? And what if they do and caught him in a lie?
I don't know the answers for someone that wants to work to survive and put food on his table. This economy has taken it's toll on many people.
But as 90% of the population is working, do the people that have jobs think there is an economy problem? Or is it, out of site out of mind.
During this season of giving I hope you help out a neighbor or friend in need, and if you are an employer I hope you can give someone a break.
Just A Thought
Issues With Parents
It is simply amazing the shear volume of people that have issues with at least one of their parents. I mean issues that have lingered for years and years that have never been rectified. Grown, mature, responsible, adults break into somber, tearful conversation when speaking of at least one of their parents.
You would think that after getting older and facing all that you have had to face in life, something like this wouldn't even be a blip on their radar screen. Not so!
Issues with a parent empty into all facets of your life and to this day are still as hurtful as they were when the wound was fresh. What is it with a parent that they cannot see? As well as they know their own child what is it that they don't know about their own child?
As we all are different people, we have children but don't realize that although they are so much a part of you, the parent doesn't realize they are yet, so different, as they are unique. What a parent might blow off as nothing, there are times that they don't realize that their nothing was something to the child, but the parent is too blind to see. Why?
Some kids might have grown up a little awkward and self conscience and possibly teased and lost their self confidence. How did the parent not see they needed some moral support.
Some kids may have never felt loved, of they thought their parents loved another sibling more, but the parent didn't see it and assure them of the love.
Maybe you weren't so good in school and jokingly comments were made by a parent that you weren't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but it hurt your feelings. And the list goes on and on.
It's time, don't you think? We live in a world of the most advanced communication ever known. Yet, we cannot seem to settle things with a parent. We want them to know without having to tell them or laughing at us. You will bring this hurt and pain with you all the days of your life, and that's a long time.
Take a deep breath, and find the courage to approach them and get this off your chest. Your life will thank you for it.
Just A Thought
Life changes. The life we grew up with is not the same life today. I think you will find that every decade, we change. Think about it. You are not the same person as you were ten years ago. As we grow, look at things differently, change friends, and learn a lot more, we change. But as you change, is your partner changing with you? Are they changing at all? Are they changing in the same direction as you?
So now what happens? As I have written on this site people don't look at marriage the same as they used to. Don't you think decades ago that people who made a lifetime commitment to marriage were bored, didn't find their partner attractive anymore, grew apart, and were sexually frustrated?
Sure they did. But today as we live in a throw away society, we just leave and move on by yourself, or with another. Life is too short, right? Variety is the spice of life, right? Your happiness is more important then anything, right?
I read Crystal Links every morning as I enjoy Ellie's writing. Here is a portion of what she wrote today on marriage, and you can read the rest of the story here: http://www.crystalinks.com/elliesworld.html
I've written endless blogs about marriage. In a world where self awareness and having the freedom to find one's true purpose and heal issues is being increasingly important, marriage is not the answer for everyone. For some a lifetime commitment works, but for others it is not necessary. Social conditioning has changed. Human consciousness is programmed differently. Being gay is becoming more accepted as people everywhere come out.
People live together, want less long term responsibility, don't necessarily want to have children, change who they are as they move from decade to decade in their lives, see the divorce rate accelerating, education taking longer, the economy and job market, and you know the rest of the list as per your observations of reality.
Healing has taught us that people are drawn to each other to work on their mutual issues, then move on. That seems to be the current pattern. If you have issues and the other person is not a reflection of those issues, the relationships will quickly end ... boring for one person and too much drama for the other. Be friends first, lovers next, and have no long range expectations for at least one year. The high of a romance - love and great sex - generally last 2 1/2 years then starts to wane. Take your time. You may think marriage is the solution for loneliness - think again. Know who you are with and what you are getting into.
I am not totally opposed to marriage. I guess it's just that I read so many couples who outgrow each other and the cheating starts. They come with the question - should I leave my spouse for the transition person? I often read people who tell me that on the day they got married, they knew it was a mistake. Healing and metaphysics dictate finding a Twin Flame - a person in the Heart - the lover who acts as a catalyst to higher consciousness. Some couples only have karma to create children then move on. There are many interesting patterns. Couples who are emotionally stable, grow together, perhaps raise a family and can make marriage work. If you've been there, you now what I mean.
Just A Thought
The more things change, the more they stay the same
It's amazing the extent of things that change in our life time. Many things for the good, no doubt. Especially medical care. But as for relationships, love, and simple common affection, it too changes, but only to an extent.
For anyone that may be a little older, you remember when you were growing up, and dating. Then to fall in love, and our ways are considered to be old fashioned by today's standards if you would a young person.
But one thing that never seems to change is the touch and the compassion of a woman. Maybe to wimpy of a subject for the young generation, but without them, us men are toast.
In the privacy of our homes, and no matter how macho the man is in public, the woman keeps him going. They produce that touch, that look, that understanding, for the most part that nurtures men to be the people they become.
And when things are going bad, sadness, or depression affect our lives, the look, the back rub, the kind words that a woman speaks, is all the strength we as men need to get by another day.
As men, we know it. We also hope you see what and when we need your comfort because when we do, we really need it bad. Yes, relationships are hard sometimes. And many times we want to walk away from the pain we experience in them, both men and women.
And in life , yes, we tend to take each other for granted many times. We get caught up in in "life" and all that brings to bare on us. But let us not forget the woman in our lives that helps us when we are down. The person that loves us.
The hurt and heartache that sometimes relationships brings us is terrible, no doubt. But without a partner in our life that is a woman, I don't know we would survive. So ladies, thank you for the love you give all the men in your life. Although the men in your life may not say thank you, or act as though they don't need your touch, your understanding, and your hug, they do and love you more and more each day. The men just may not tell you how much they appreciate it, but they do.
Just A Thought
I Give Up!
Sometimes, don't you just want to yell out, I Give Up! Don't you? I sure as hell do! We all get like that sometimes, but honestly, sometimes enough is enough. Or like a buddy of mine used to say, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. LOL
It's always something. I think the worst thing you can do is watch the news. How come "the news" always has to be bad news?Once it once a month,and let the rest go I think is the best way to approach it. I mean really, you can't do anything about any of it anyway.
Kids today having sex at who knows what age, the doctors telling women to have mammograms each year but then tell them it's not necessary? What the hell is that? Kids committing suicide at what seems to be alarming rates, and bullying going to extremes?
Divorce is rampant and many of the ones that are married feel to guilty or broke to leave? What's up with that? And what's up with all this positive thinking? I mean sometimes I think people can go too far, don't you? You should think positive thoughts, be positive, and unrealistic too? So you take an average person and ask them to describe themselves they say I am attractive, have and average shape, deep blue eyes, and honestly they are barely average looking, barely, way over weight, and just have blue eyes. Deep has nothing to do with your eyes! What kind of mirror do these people own, because I want one!
And how many kids were over weight when you were growing up? Not many. Look at today. The don't go outside all summer and play, but look like they have never seen sun, never leave the house because they are on their electronic gadgets all the time. The schools don't help as PE is not what it used to be, no doubt.
Then there is all the products sold, that according to the government, don't fall under their scrutiny in evaluating all these caffeine drinks, vitamins, weight loss products,and let's not forget the pills to make some things grow on men. What's up with that?
How about in the early sixties when Leave It To Beaver was on TV and one person worked outside the home, they went on a vacation every year, owned a car, and sent their kids to college. ON ONE SALARY MIND YOU. The wages have never kept up with the cost of living in this country and the workers continually get shafted and they get away with it?
How about the ingrates we call bosses or employers that we have to deal with every day? You know who I mean. The say that 60% of workers hate their employers I think I read somewhere. That's a lot of miserable people! And if the company isn't bad why did you get the idiot you call your boss? How did they get their job in the first place anyway?
How is it that dentists charge so much to get your teeth fixed? I mean thousands. And when they mess up, it's oh well, sometimes this happens. What's up with that? Well it's one way to retire early I guess.
What happened to getting married for love instead of financial. Let's face it, these days it is always the consideration. Well, I really are for the person and they are wealthy, so it works?
What happened to family life and dinner at the table every night? Employers add on more and more hours if you want to keep you job, you still have all of the other responsibilities, and there is just no time anymore. And the weekends you use to run errands as there is no time during the week, so you basically never get anytime to yourself. Does this sound right?
Well, I can go on and on but you get my drift. Sometimes, you just want to say, the hell with it. But we calm down and find the strength and patience. As the key to life, is to persevere.
Just A Thought
The Businesses Behind Retail Member Cards
There was a time when you went to the grocery store, you just went in bought what you needed. Fast forward to today, and now you open your wallet, which probably is full of member cards, is frustrating.
So if I go to the grocery store you get way over charged for an item unless you have one of their member cards, to be charged the regular price of that item, not a discounted price mind you. Why? Why can't they charge you their normal mark up of profit all the time? Another scam by our own American employers.
Don't we all have enough to do rather then to collect these member cards, that will fill a wallet, just to buy something at a normal charge?
This procedure started with grocery stores and grew to include places like CVS, to discount warehouses, and so on. Why can't they charge us a fair price all the time? Why do I need to have their card?
I read an article on this about a year ago and if I remember correctly, it all started with a small grocery store chain in Virginia by the name of Ukrops. Of course if one person does something, everyone has to do they same thing. Why? Don't they know they just pissed all of us off? Can they be that stupid?
All or most are information collectors just like scammers. They will send you mailings, they will send you emails, so they can get to you. I can't till someone opens up the first grocery store and alike, with just fair prices every day, and no card. I would bet that they will get really busy. Ask WalMart, they are bigger then all of the companies that have these cards. It's a no brainer.
Just A Thought
Blind Help Wanted Ads
Although 90% of the country is working, I wonder how much people who are working think about the ones that are not? Probably not much. The 10% who are not relates to millions of people, and that's a lot of lives that feel desperation every moment of every day.
To make matters worse, these human resource people, managers, district managers, etc, who work for employers who post "blind ads" should be fired themselves. You can see by what they do how much they care about their employees. For those of you who don't know what a blind ad is, it is when an ad is posted without the company's name.
Why? They know that most all blind ads are scams, yet they do it anyway. People who are so desperate for work will apply for any and everything to find work, only to get scammed, adding insult to injury.
Are they embarrassed about their company? Are they a company who no one generally applies to so they try to talk someone into working for them once they have them on the phone?
If employers added their name to their ads, it would stop these types of scammers as we all would know a blind ad is a scam. Will that stop them? No. Currently a friend of mine said he applied to a post by a recruiter. Thinking it was ok, he applied and the recruiting company itself was a scam, or a front for information stealing. But at least it stops a great deal of it.
Some employers will post ads just to see what's out there. They don't need anyone, but place the ad anyway to see what might be out there. So use your name! Yes I know, they want to fire someone and place a blind ad so the person doesn't quit before they hire someone. So hire a professional recruiter then.
Of course many will not do that because it will cost them money. How about, it's the cost of doing business!
And then you have assumed reputable companies that will place an ad with their company name, but won't add what the position pays. Why do they have to make these unemployed people any more miserable? Sure, they don't want to pay someone more then they would be willing to settle for, go figure?
But at least put in a range, form this to that, and depending on experience. This way, if this isn't the pay someone was looking for, they can move on, rather they applying, waiting and hoping for a call, then getting the call, going for an interview, only to find out the pay was not what they were looking for.
What a waste of someone's time. Why would they do these things to people who need a hand up, and not for their time to be wasted.
When this recession ends, many employers will be in trouble. I have read a few articles that said when surveyed, 60% of people will leave their employers once this is all over. You reap what you sew. Can't wait!
Just A Thought
Writing with Personality
I have had this site about a year and a half now and don't have as much tie as I would like to spend on it. However, you may have noticed that my writing is pretty straight forward and to the point. Actually, that's not like me at all. I am rather outspoken, with a nice personality, and generally suggestive.
I had a nightclub management site before this one of which I recently sold and received many compliments on my writing. Most thought it was funny at ties, along with being informational, and a little sarcastic. More my personality,
I thought with the subject matter, I should be a little more on the serious side as having a broken heart is no laughing matter and I didn't want to make light of it.
So what did this have to do with me? After all, I am way passed Y and am 55. That's the strange part, and she is too a little, but aren't we all. She tells stories about her daily life, as bizarre as they may seem, but it is interesting I have to admit.
What is it about reading about someone else? It's like getting fresh gossip for those you love that stuff. She is smart as a whip, lives an unconventional life, and is brazen. But I like brazen.
Anyway, I wrote to her and told her how much I enjoyed her writing and asked her to take a look a my site and tell me her thoughts, when she could find some time.
Within a couple of hours she wrote back and said she thought it was boring. I wrote her back and thanked her for her reply so quickly and her honesty. I have been called a lot of things in my life, but boring was never one of them.
Which got me thinking. I wrote these in an effort to help those in times of need and have a lot more to add. And I thought being solemn was the thing to do, but after her comment, maybe I should be talking to my readers as me, and not so serious. So on future pages, along with re-writing the ones I have, when I can get to them, I will try and give you, the reader, the information you require, but not be so dry in the future.
Just A Thought
It is simply amazing that when you say "I DO" that you would ever start to take advantage of, or dislike the person you loved oh so much on that very happy day in your life.
What happens? Life happens! But it doesn't have to. We let it happen, and don't even realize it. Life these days gets so busy. What was once a forty hour week that was considered full time, is now a sixty hour week for many. Some maybe more, and that doesn't count the commute for many who don't live in small towns.
We live with each other and instead of being lovers, we become room mates that have sex now and again. For those of you that this doesn't happen to, congratulation! But for those of you that this does happen to, it's time to wake up, and realize what you are missing.
I know, you say its her fault and she says its your fault. It's no one's fault actually. It's just life. But realize one thing, it is very difficult to meet and fall in love with someoneas it is. So when you do, be very very grateful.
But as conflicts arise, you can't put them on the back burner. So many couples don't talk about certain things, or think to themselves that they will address this later. And many times they just don't say anything at all. Communication is the answer to successful relationships. I know that sounds over done and even boring, but it's true.
Whatever is bothering you about your partner, you need to address, politely, and tactfully, so you both will maintain a healthy relationship. Too many times things stay bottled up for far too long that leads to fighting, nasty things said, and adultery.
Whatever it is, and no matter how long it has been, start talking to your partner. You are not going to agree on everything as you are different individuals. So agree to disagree.
This is the person that you loved so much on that wedding day. Don't let life pull you apart so you can be another statistic. You need to do these things as, love remembers.
Just A Thought
Endings and Beginnings
There has been many articles written on the upcoming Solar Eclipse tomorrow. Astrology doesn't have to be your thing, but I read some of the articles. This is a time when "things end" and "new beginnings". Whether that is actually true or not is really up to you to believe, but it got me thinking.
Change is a part of life that is a constant. You can fight it all you want, but it is going to happen. Most people fight change. They like things just the way they are. They can depend on certain things every day. It somehow tends to relieve stress in their day.
But it's going to happen! We go through seasons in our life. And like all seasons that happen in nature, they end. It almost seems as though that something is pushing us through life, and to where, no one knows.
As things end, it allows room for something new in your life. You may not like how this affects your life. It's new, and it's different. And it is not calming either. But, it is necessary for you to grow.
Sometimes these changes bring emotional pain and heartache, which become memories, that you will look back on, but will make you the person you have or will become. You are the result of your life experiences.
You may find that friends will move, jobs will change, lovers will meet, and it's all because of endings and beginnings. I think you will find you will like the person you are to become.
Just A Thought
Hitting the ripe old age of fifty was not a big deal to me, and that was a few years ago. Actually, passing every decade of my life wasn't a big deal. I had friends, and some relatives which took these markers of life passing very hard. I always looked a bit younger for what my actual age was. I was energetic, in decent shape, hard working, and love working with the public.
And although I used to kid around to friends and family that I was on the downside, I really never took it that seriously. That was until fifty four came down the pike. What happens to people from fifty to fifty four? It's only a few years difference after all?
I am blessed that I am in good health, so far, but it seems that it takes an extra few seconds to get out of bed in the morning. Also, my body feels a little heavier too, probably because I actually am. Don't you just hate gravity? I notice that I have hair growing in places I don't want it, and not growing on the top of my head! What's up with that?
After sitting for a length of time, my knee cracks when I stand up. There are some foods my body can't tolerate anymore either, if you know what I mean. And although I am a loving, passionate man when it comes to sex, junior doesn't perform like he used to. I never thought in my youth that part would ever let me down. lol
I also started thinking about leaving friends and family a letter, or a video, for the time when I pass. Which is not something I like to think about!
My hair line has receded, and I am starting to see some light brown patches on my face, form being in the sun so much as a child. A few more wrinkles that I though made me look distinguished, are increasing.
All these things, plus a few more, in just a few years. I thought it was me until one day my wife was watching Oprah and Dr. Oz on TV one day, and Oprah asked the same question. What happened from fifty to fifty four? So much has changed! I had to laugh.
When I used to tell people I was fifty, they would be astonished, and thought I looked forty. I would smile. Now I say I am fifty four, and they don't say anything. Bummer!
I always say, youth is wasted on the young.
As you round the corner of life, love every day. Live them all as if they were your last. Laugh a little more, and cry a little less, is what I wish for you.