A Safe Way Forward For Both Of You?
Living together with your romantic partner started decades ago now. It was scandalous then, and now just the norm. Two people become enamored with each other and have to spend more time together. You used to find that people only started living together after they were pretty serious about their relationship.
But these days, you will find that once two people are pretty comfortable with each other, they tend to start living together, even if has not been a very long time that they have become partners. But to each his own.
Living together has also become a "just in case" move. Marriage? Maybe not. Just in case I meet someone that I may want to go out with, or just in case I get bored with my partner, or just in case I don't stay this happy, or just in case they get boring, or the sex does.Living together is a way out, a back way to leave, an ability to escape without too many repercussions. An escape clause if you will.
Many people will tell you that they would never marry without living with someone first. Never! But I think what it comes down to really is the age old question I wrote about
"does love exist"?
Everyone wants to make the best choices possible, but their are no guarantee's in life. Even if you live with someone it doesn't guarantee anything. You still may have a bad marriage or even divorce.
Loving someone unconditionally is rare these days. There are always conditions on the love you receive from someone, or give for that matter. If you live together you share the love, joy, sex, and all the other wonderful things two people can share. But just in case someone else catches your eye, just in case, you have a way out. Living together is an insurance policy. It's the best of both worlds. The proverbial "have you cake and eat it too"!
Does this happen to people who are living together? Sure it does. And moving companies love you for it. People avoid, or should I say want to avoid, the "for better or worse clause" and lets not forget the "till death do you part" clause. That's a really long time!
For the partner who does love the other unconditionally, the other partner generally does not. One always loves more. And therein lies the "escape clause". If each of you loved the other "unconditionally" the living together arrangement would be short as you would be planning a marriage.
So by living together are you expressing your love? Or are you keeping someone close and "love", but just in case I can get out if I want to? If you were "sure" you loved that person, how long would you be living together before you marry?
Yes, marriage is a risk and should not be entered into lightly. But I do believe partners should be honest with each other about their intent. Yes, if you were honest about your intent, your partner may just pack up and leave. But you like things just the way they are, so you won't say anything, right?
People use the words "I Love You" much too easily today. Maybe they should say "I Really Like You" instead.
Back to Homepage from Living Together