Rebound love is such a terrible thing to happen to you. You just happen to meet someone that you are just crazy about. Maybe they have just come out of a relationship, or a divorce.
And you listen intently about what they have gone through and you console them, you become closer, and you start to become attached to this person. It seems you both are so compatible, right?
You start to realize that you are so in love. As time goes by, you can't believe that someone gave this person up and wonder, what's wrong with this person that I don't get yet? But time goes by, and nothing. It just seems to work.
And in all that, is rebound love. You have been each others ying to their yang. But as time progresses, and this person starts to heal, and they become stronger, more self confident, more independent, sexy, desired and beautiful, they will leave.
And what once was so beautiful between you, starts to crack a little around the edges. You were there for them and fell in love. And now, they are starting to realize that maybe you weren't the person for them.
Their passion may set the timing here, so don't let it. Go slow. Real slow. I know it may seem right, but if you are the first person to date a person who has recently broke up or divorced, you will probably be their rebound love, and the only person who will get hurt here is you. They will move happily on their way.
You weren't "the guy" or "the girl" you come to realize. You were the "rebound guy or girl". Cruel isn't it? These people knew they were leaning on you and using you as a crutch. As adults, we all want what we yearn for, need, and desire is the love from a mate. We also know who is a fit for us, and who isn't. Being sad and lonely doesn't give anyone the right to use someone's heart and then throw it away.
Anyone can tell you that when you split from a relationship that you shouldn't start a relationship with someone else immediately. You need time to heal. By jumping in to another relationship will generally only produce rebound love. The only thing you manage to do is to hurt someone, as you move on with your life. For those of you that do this, you should be ashamed of yourself. How selfish!
You just left someone in the cold, and really screwed up someone's life that loved you dearly. And your statement is "we grew apart", or "we weren't meant for each other". Or "I love them, just not in that way anymore". How about you knew better! How about the heart you just hurt in this rebound love of yours? Are you waking up smiling every day as you have moved on? Did you even think of what the other person feels like today?
Now the rebound love, will experience unrequited love, because you were selfish.
Rebound love happens to many people, and it's a shame. As adults we know better. In our youth, we see it all the time where one person starts dating another to get over the love they lost. It just proves what you didn't really know about this person, they were selfish and self centered. That person is all about me, me, me, instead of we, we, we.
If you are in a position that this has never happened you, here is some advice. Do not get involved with someone just coming out of a break up of any kind. If they don't know any better, then you should. Rebound love is cruel, and painful. There are others to date, and if not, then bide your time. You will be fine but stay away from the others as you will then become the next rebound love.
For those of you hurt in all of this, I can only say I am sorry for your grief. And as time is the healer of all wounds, I know it isn't easy. I think you will find that when two people meet like this it is a whirl wind romance. You both are so giving and so loving and to end like this, is a sin. To know that that person used you, after you gave all the love you had inside of you is just so wrong. Unfortunately, this is the one person who you'll always keep in your heart.
Although this won't ease the pain you feel, please know that you are not a fool. Just human. And you trusted someone you find out now, that you shouldn't have.
I have seen this happen so many times in my life. Needless to say, I have met a lot of selfish people in my time. Spending a couple of decades in the bar business you see it all. And generally you see the person who was the rebound person a little more as they try to heal their pain.
They come in droves to tell their story and for support from all of us. If you are friends with someone who would take advantage of someone as in rebound love, you need to choose a better class of friends. Selfish people only belong to themselves.
For those of you who are tempted to date a re-bounder, your biggest risk is that they may simply move on once they have healed, and leaving your heart in pieces.
Please do not allow them to set the pace of this relationship, which may be too fast, and be aware that.
If you are prepared to take the monumental risk, then take your time, allow the relationship to develop slowly, communicate with each other, guard your heart, and hope you don't become another statistic, because love remembers.
Scars Made By You
by Christopher Lee Michael Goebel
There are wounds deep inside of me, no one will ever see,They hurt from time to time, your voice won't let them be.
Echoes in my ear repeat the cruel things you've said;Tears soak my pillow, while I'm lying in my bed.
There was a time it all made sense, but now it's all confused,How you could be so misleading, all I feel is used.
The whispers of "I love you," and your deceiving smileWere only just a cover up for your manipulating style.
The promises you made were selfish and hollow, like your heart,You never put your trust in me, not even from the start.
The day you said, "I do," it must have been a game,For two short months later, you "no longer feel the same?"
How can you sleep at night, and say your feelings were true?How can you leave me with these scars, intentionally made by you?