Relationships - Is Love Enough?
We all get involved with romantic relationships in our lives. And as you know, love can be the best thing in the world. On the the other side of that coin, is love enough? Common sense would tell you, yes it is. After all, if two people love one another, what else do you need? Right?
However, when you enter into a relationship with someone, it is actually an agreement to forgive one another. And like all agreements, including not to just love the person, but there fine print that says you promise to accept this person with all their flaws and vices, because you do love them.
I am here to tell you that love is nowhere near enough to get through life. Sorry. There are so many people who date each other, live with each other, and marry each other, but you better have more then love, because it's not enough to withstand the test of time.
First, let me say this. And please don't send me a bunch of nasty comments. When the institution of marriage was established, hundreds of years ago or more, you have to understand that the average life span was thirty years, if you were lucky. Spending time with one person for the rest of your life wasn't all that long.
Zoom to the 2000's. The average life span is seventy two years. That's a whole lot of time to spend with one person. I don't care how much you love them. For fifty percent of these marriages, or relationships, then end up in splitting up or divorce. And generally, even the ones that did well so long, it usually happens to us in our forties.
And for the rest of us who are still in those relationships, or marriages, experts say that fifty percent of those are only together because they can't afford to get divorced or split up.Not very good odds are they? That's why love isn't enough.
When you fall in love, you will experience feelings that are so wonderful you can't imagine. But there needs to be more with the one you love and hold dear to your heart. You need a "bond" to cement yourselves. A feeling that you are actually one.
Relationships, and marriage takes work they say. But with a mutual "bond" is not like work, as it is a pleasure. You each need to love each other, yes. But you have to be there for each other, deal to each others frailties and insecurities, take care of one another, let each other grow and become the people they were intended to be.
Yes, they are going to change, and you will need to be there to support this change, for each of you. You need to need this person like you need the air you breathe. You need to keep in touch during your days with phone calls.
You need to touch each other, and not just sexually. A hand on the shoulder, a pat on the ass, a kisses on the cheek, and whatever else you feel. But I said "feel". These are things you shouldn't have to think about. It is that "bond" that sets you apart from everyone else. An amorous cuddle on the couch while watching tv, telling someone how nice they look, and going out of your way for them because you want to, not that you think you should.
It's hard to explain this "bond" in words. But I think you understand what I am trying to say. The problem is, most relationships and marriages don't have this "bond". They are in love and that is all they know. That's great, but it's not enough.
Tell me, in your relationship or marriage are things ho hum? When was the last time you told your partner in life how nice they looked? Or when was the last time you called your partner in the middle of the day for no reason at all? And I don't mean to say "hi, how's your day, and can you stop at the dry cleaners on the way home. I mean to call and ask how their day was going.
And do you walk around your house doing chores, or housework, or catching up on whatever, as if you were living by yourself, or you were sharing an apartment with a room mate?? They say as time goes by people grow, sometimes not in the same direction, and grow apart. And you know what happens when people start growing apart, don't you?
Now you are the road for fighting, breaking up, separating, or divorce. This is true. Some people say that after time you lose the "falling in love" feeling. You become friends or room mates more then lovers.
Remember, you let this happen! You went on with each other, or lived with one another, or got married to a person you didn't have a "bond" with. Loving someone passionately, and I mean passionately, for the rest of your life is what two people experience when there is a "bond" that is unmistakable.
If you don't have that in your relationships, then all you had was lust, falling in love feelings, and that is it. Now where do you go and what do you do?
You might ask, what if one person is that way and the other isn't? What if you feel a "bond" with someone and they don't feel this with you? Well, a "bond" with your partner is something you feel together. You both feel it and you both know it's there. You are probably the most envied couple when you go anywhere because people can see this by looking at the two of you.
Did you really think that relationships, marriage, and love was that simple? Did you think that's all you had to do was fall in love? Did you? People fall in love every day but it's not to say their relationships will last. The falling in love feelings are undeniably fantastic. But when those feeling wear off, then what? Did you think that's all it took was love?
Do you know how many people fall in love every day? And how many of those ever last? Think about it. So where is your relationship headed?
Breaking up, splitting, up, separation, or divorce are not pleasant things. I promise! So if you are in a relationship and love is all you have, you need to think about where this will go. You may end up a statistic like so many. Fifty percent odds in marriages are not very good odds. And for second and third, and so on, they odds are worse.
And for those involved, you men are in the worse shape if things go south. Yes you. And I don't care how much money you have or don't have, you will not get through a break up like a woman will. Why you ask? Because women are different. They are emotionally stronger then men without a doubt. And women have a better support atmosphere then men. Women have friends, lots of them, and talk about all kinds of subjects, and are there for each other.
Men don't have this closeness with other male counter parts. They are just not a strong as women. And you guys getting older, you are in worse shape. Many women today become more beautiful as they age, where very few men do so. Men will get a belly, their hair, everywhere, will go gray, generally will go bald, become sicker, younger then women, and die earlier then women. That was a mouthful.
And older women are not going to want you because they want someone younger. And younger men like the maturity of older women. I promise you! And you are not going to date younger women unless you have got a fat wallet, and that's a sad way to be in love. Love because of money. Not a great relationship is it?
Heart break, yes you will both go through it, male and female alike. And you will both feel the tormenting pains of unrequited love and the time it takes to heal, no doubt. But the woman will survive it.
In relationships, don't underestimate a woman's strength.
As a hopeless romantic myself, I hate to speak about love in this manner as it is such a beautiful thing. But when the two of you have a "bond" in your relationship, it will be the greatest love of all.
We are alive with love for each other - we listen with our hearts and our heads, we value our individual personalities, and come together to create an awesome couple/team that not only keeps us inspired but helps to ignite inspiration, fun, faith, hope and real love for others.
"If a kiss were a raindrop, I'd send you showers. If hugs were a second, I'd send you hours. If smiles were water, I'd send you the sea. If love was a person, I'd send you me. Kisses
I can touch you...without using my hands. I can put a secret thought on your mind... without whispering in your ear. You can feel me... when I`m not there. You can hear my voice...without a word being uttered. You want me again and again...even though you've never had me. You reach for me in the middle of the night...yet we've never shared a bed. You miss me...but we've never met. You long to be kissed again...but our lips have never touched. Your arms ache for me...but we've never embraced.You want me...need me...care for me...and you may even love me. Who Am I?I could be...yours.