Second thoughts? We all have them in our life. But when in relationships, I see more of them then anyone would admit to. Too bad really. It reminds me of the Reba's song, Every Other Weekend.What a tear jerker. Anyone it tells a story of divorce and two people getting the kids every other weekend, and their thoughts of how much they STILL love each other, but are afraid to tell the other, so they move on. Sad isn't it?
As I have said on other pages, I hail from the bar business. I have been in it most of my life and some people tell some really sad stories. The most common one is a couple of guys, or women, sitting at the bar talking to each other, and inevitably their conversation will touch on their current husband, or wife, and they always make mention of their ex. Always! Second thoughts seem to be the reason.
As separations go, and divorce too, there are hurt feelings, to say the least. At least the one rejected partner is completely devastated. Their life, as they knew it, is all over. Unfortunately, it happens to many if not all of us, and it is not easily forgotten. Not by a long shot, if ever.
These hurts and pains may well last forever. But it's funny that in these conversations, a kind word or three is said about their ex. And said sincerely. Sometimes it was comparing what they had now compared to what they lost or left. And sometimes it was "reflection", or second thoughts? You could see, for a moment, fond thoughts of a partner no longer there.
Even with people who have self proclaimed that their divorce was the best thing that ever happened to them, seem to travel that road, now and then, whether currently with someone or not. It's funny isn't it. After all the pain and heartache that accompanies separation and divorce, and the name calling, the financial hardship for many, and just plain loss, warm feelings seem to linger for many.
Does it happen to everyone? I don't think so, but I can tell you that it happens to many. I have witnessed in my life people talking together and they were on their 2nd, 3rd, or even 4th marriage. And inevitability, they would say that out of all the people I ever married, I truly loved _______, my first.
What is it? Nostalgia? First true love that lingers? Or second thoughts? When we sometimes make decisions in life that we are not completely sure about, or a decision made in hast, or in anger, we have second thoughts.
Leaving a partner should not be taken lightly at any age. The ramifications of such devastation usually takes away at least a two or three years of someones life to get back to a normal state of mind. When you have put in time with someone, you know what they like to eat, where they like to go, what their hobbies are, etc. Memories don't really fade. They are always there.
When you move on with someone else, will it be as loving? Will it be as fulfilling? Will it be as romantic, or more like a business?
Sometimes people have to part, no question. But with a fifty percent divorce rate, and we aren't even talking about the separation of people living together, are we thinking it all through?
Life can be hard and difficult. And age has a lot to do with
second thoughts and the decade of separation.
At this time in our lives we have these thoughts. But before you take that final plunge to separate or divorce, make sure it is right, and make it as humane as possible on the rejected partner. And as time goes by, you don't want to be having second thoughts about a love that could have worked, as love remembers.