The question that keeps many people up nights, whether to stay or leave your relationship. Tough question, no doubt. It is a shame that fifty percent of people have to ask themselves this question, as that is about what the divorce rate is, not including the people that simply live together and separate. But, how to decide?
Relationships are probably the most complex aspect of our lives. Not that life can't grab a hold of you, but this is the basis of many people's lives. Some relationships can grow and become more wonderful through the years, and some relationships can beat you up so bad, that you become numb and don't even expect happiness anymore. And the question always comes up, to stay or leave your relationship.
Is it supposed to be this way? No it's not, but for many, happiness is not even close to what they currently have. For many, it is complicated. It always is. And life isn't so cut and dry as we find out. Some people think this is a moral issue, or even a religious issue, and would never attempt separating, as this was "until death due us part".
Separation and divorce is so common anymore, the shear mention of it doesn't make anyone even flinch. To stay or leave a relationship is no big deal anymore. And then there is the difference in people also. If not happy, some people will leave no matter what. They feel if they are not happy, they are leaving to live a life that they will be happy in. And then there are the others that will stay, as they don't want to hurt their partner, and their children. And of course let's not forget the financial strain. To stay or leave a relationship, no matter how common these days, will be a life altering decision that will affect you, and anyone involved with the relationship you currently have.
If there is a lot of money accessible to both parties, it is easier for some to just walk away.
It is complicated. As complicated as the amount of individuals in this world. There is a new book out called "Too Good To Leave, Too Bad To Stay" that has tackled many issue's of happiness in a relationships, or the lack thereof. Instead of weighing the pros and cons of your relationship, the book has a a list of thirty six questions for you to answer to determine your happiness in your relationship and let you figure out whether to say or leave your relationship.
Lovers, that were two people that sincerely loved one another, find themselves as two people sharing an apartment or house anymore. Was it the people themselves, or was it life that got the best of them and their priorities. Was two people working sixty hours a week, plus the commute, too much? Was any time left for themselves? Was it worth working so much, to accumulate so much, to become strangers, fall out of love or even despise your partner, to end up separated or divorced?
Do we cause our own problems? And do we leave someone we like, but are just not happy, only to emotionally crush the partner we do have? Is that being self centered? Selfish? Is that right? Or is that just the way it is? Love has casualties?
Maybe what you and your partner have is good enough. Maybe you feel that you want to find a truly fulfilling relationship that you always wanted and know you can get. Or maybe, you are afraid to leave because you ask yourself, what if I leave what I have and never find the happiness I yearn for?
As I stated at the beginning, this is a really complex issue in one's life thinking about if you should stay or leave your relationship. Don't hurry through this because maybe right now you are upset right now.
But these questions go through many people's minds more often then not. There is no guarantee that you will stay and be happy, or leave and be happy. Life is full of choices. And every choice you make from the time you reach adulthood will determine your future.
We all strive for happiness. And what makes us happy is different for all of us. But there is no greater thing in life then to be happy and in love. Nothing!
Relationships are supposed to make your life better, not suck the life out of it. And in the event you do separate or divorce, they usually end up in a bitter fight, people devastated, and lives torn apart. But in time, your life can be better, and sometimes not.
I have seen it with my own eyes. People who have already made their choices to stay or leave a relationship. I have seen the newly single people getting a table for one at a restaurant, and eating alone, and I have seen newly single people enjoying their freedom and doing things you never thought they would do.
The forties are the decade of separation which people ask themselves the question whether to stay or leave your relationship.
As we age, we find that what we are doing is not bringing us happiness. And if we leave now, there are still enough good years left to be happy. Whether to stay or leave your relationship generally comes during these years. Some earlier then others but the question still comes.
I read many of the comments on this book on Amazon and the reviews were good. However, I found that the reviews were mostly from women, and many left their relationships and state they are happy. Not a great sign for men. And women, as I have discussed in other pages, seem to get through separation a lot easier then men.
I can't give you the answer to whether to stay or leave your relationship. But remember, the ramifications of to stay or leave your relationship can be life changing, and not always for the good. As you only go around once in life, I understand why it seems some people are selfish and will do anything to make themselves happy. And their are no do overs in life. As years pass, you can't get them back.
You should read the book. It may help you to fix what you have, or to leave and start over. Stay or leave your relationship? It's all up to you, because love remembers.